Misfits In Time
by The-Mighty-Floyd
Summary: Complete! Misfits appear courtesy of Red Witch. Part 1 in a trilogy. The Misfits and several travelers from the future work to prevent a devastating civil war. But what are the time travelers really up to?
1. How could this happen?

**Misfits In Time**

Written by The Mighty Floyd

Special thanks to Red Witch for use of the Misfits, and to L1701E for introducing me to them in the first place.

_Warning: I am familiar only with selected episodes of Season 1 of X-Men: Evolution and one GI Joe movie, so if these characters seem a little off, that's the reason. Oh, and the title may be a bit misleading, but I like it._

Disclaimer: XE characters belong to Marvel. GI Joe characters belong to someone, possibly also Marvel. Misfits created by Red Witch, who also owns Althea, Trinity, Xi, and General Whithalf (who has to be my favorite supporting character).

And now, with no further ado, on to our tale...

* * *

Chapter 1: "How could this happen?"

* * *

_Bayville, 20 years in the future..._

Two figures creep silently past the burnt out husk of a building. Rubble litters the ground, making each fall of a foot treacherous. Small fires burn here and there, black, acrid smoke rising into the sky like a tribute to some dark god.

The two pause. Crunching footsteps approach. Quickly, they take refuge behind a mostly demolished wall, crouching trying to make no sound, breathing as shallowly as possible, willing themselves invisible.

The footsteps approach. Out of the mix of fog and smoke appear about twenty new figures, men, women, it is impossible to tell. Each wears a heavy, grey, camouflage suit, heavily armored against any attack. A helmet open only for goggles rests on each head. Thick black gloves clutch Uzis, M-1s, and straps hold ammunition, pistols, and knives. Heavy black boots turn the rubble underfoot to dust.

These new figures are indistinguishable, save for small black badges of rank on the left torsos. One, highest ranked, gives a gruff order: "Spread out. Them muties is supposed t'be 'round here somewheres. Shoot t'kill." The others nod, silent acknowledgment of their orders, and split into groups of four. Each covers his teammates, and is covered in return.

The two tiny figures huddle together, trying to draw from each other the strength not to break. They press themselves against their wall, trying desperately to avoid detection. All is for naught, as they hear the footfalls behind them too late.

Close enough to see their eyes through the goggles are four of the pursuers. Triumph is clearly visible in those cold eyes. Weapons are raised as one of the pathetic figures gives out a short, small cry.

Rapid gunshots echo through the ruin of the town, accompanied with short screams of pain, quickly silenced. One of the armed figures activates a link in her helmet. "Two confirmed terminated," she reports. "Good," comes the reply. "Look for any more." "Affirmative," she says, and motion to her team to continue their search. Behind them, they leave a wall splattered with blood, brains, bits of flesh, two pathetic mutants lying dead in their own gore on the ground.

* * *

"How did things come to this?"

"I don't know, but it wasn't through the fault of GI Joe."

General Hawk and Roadblock sat across a desk from each other in Hawk's office. Duke and Scarlet were seated in the room, as well. The four consisted the core of the remnants of the once-proud elite antiterrorist unit known as GI Joe. The others remaining on the decreased team were Jinx, Falcon, Bazooka, Spirit, and Lady Jaye. Everyone else had either died or left the unit during the fifteen year civil war.

"It was the war," said Duke. "Or, it was the Mutant Registration Bill that started the war." The Bill, which had passed almost twenty years before, had sparked a violent response from the mutant population of the United States. A civil war had followed, with mutants and humans doing their best to wipe each other out. For a long time it had looked like the mutants would win, but that changed with the capture and public executions of Magnus Lensherr and Charles Xavier, co-leaders of the mutant militia. Mutant resistance had fallen apart after that, with massive division of forces and rifts in ideologies. It had been child's play to take out most of the remaining resistance after that. The President, militaristic dictatorial successor to the one that had been killed by a team of mutant assassins at the start of the war, declared a new law allowing the extermination of mutants as a subhuman species. There were still protesters, such as GI Joe, but they were ignored, made to disappear, or killed outright.

After half the Joe force had been killed in a raid by supporters of the President, most of the rest had left the team. They claimed that no ideal was worth the destruction their division was causing. The remaining Joes hadn't been able to believe their comrades could feel this way, until another attack had decimated the survivors and resulted in the final annihilation of the Pit, the traditional Joe base.

With only nine Joes remaining, their last hope was based on the survivors of a mutant military team that had come into existence shortly before the war. Officially known as "Freedom Force", and more commonly known as the "Misfits", the team had helped the Joes try to keep peace during the war. However, shortly before the end of the war, most of the team had disappeared on a mission with the remaining X-Men, leaving only Avalanche, Xi, and Trinity.

Their last hope chose that entrance to come in through the door.

"Yeah," Lance Alvers said bitterly. "It was that Fing Bill."

The humans in the room sat in uncomfortable silence, until Trinity spoke.

"**The device is completed,**" they said, eyes glowing white with the use of their mental connection. "**We should now be able to successfully send a team back through time, to stop this mess from ever occurring.**"

"I volunteer," said Xi. "I am the one least changed by time. They should have little trouble accepting me."

"Same goes for me," said Lance, moving past his bitterness for the moment. "Except that changed part."

"**We would go too, if we didn't have to stay to monitor the device,**" said Trinity, looking mournful at being left out of their own experiment.

"I'll go, too," said Roadblock. "I owe it to Shipwreck, after what happened to him and the babies. Now, with this device, there are no maybes, right?"

"**If our data is correct, it will perform perfectly,**" Trinity told him. "**There is only one problem. If you succeed, you will be stuck in the past unable to return. And if you don't succeed, well... you'll be dead anyway.**"

"Thanks for that cheerful thought," commented Roadblock. "Tactful you three are definitely not. Still, I'm going."

The other two agreed.

"**Very well,**" said Trinity. "**Put these helmets on your heads.**" They handed each of the three a weird looking helmet.

"Is this the device?" asked Xi.

"**No,**" said Trinity. "**This is to keep your heads from bursting like an overripe melon when we use the device.**" The three quickly jammed the helmets onto their heads.

"**A last word of advice,**" said Trinity. "**Remember the rules of time travel in the 'Terminator' movies? About the nonliving matter? You might want to head to the nearest place you can grab some clothes.**" They grinned.

"Wait a minute-" started Lance, as the three began to glow.

"Good luck," said Hawk.

There was a flash of light. When it faded, the three were gone.

"**Homing in,**" said Trinity, studying their device. A few moments later: "**They've arrived.**"

"Good," said Hawk.

Suddenly, the pounding of feet could be heard through the underground corridor outside the office. Before any of the room's occupants could react, the door flew open, and bright blue laser beams cut them down.

* * *

Next time: Our travelers arrive in the present. What awaits them? I'll give you a hint: it's where the "Humor" part of that genre area comes in. Tune in again, for chapter two of _Misfits In Time_!


	2. A Typical Day

Chapter 2: A Typical Day

* * *

_Bayville, The present..._

It was a typical day at the X-Mansion.

Well, as typical as it ever was.

Jean was trying to keep Tabby and Ray from killing each other, with dubious success. Scott was trying to keep the New Mutants from getting killed in a punitive Danger Room session. And Logan was forcing himself not to slice through the door to the Professor's study and kill the adults who had taken liquid refuge within.

"Open up, Chuck!" he pounded on the door.

He could hear Hank chuckling drunkenly through the door. "Heh, heh... 'up, Chuck'... I get it. Pass me that malt."

Logan sniffed suspiciously. His eyes widened. He began pounding on the door with renewed vigor, shouting, "Is that Shipwreck in there with you!"

"Of course," Xavier's voice floated through the door. "Why else would I be dro-, dram-, oh, inebriated?" This was accompanied with a chorus of drunken giggles from Hank, Shipwreck, and... was that?...

"'Ro! What are you doing in there?"

"Getting plastered, of course," the weather witch replied calmly.

"I give up," moaned Logan. "All we need is another visit from the Misfits."

As if on cue, Jamie ran past him, screaming at the top of his lungs. Behind him chased the Triplets, Daria, Quinn, and Brittany. They were shouting, "Come to mama, Sweet Cheeks!", "Time to get some lovin'!", and "Get back here, ya Hunk'a Burnin' Love!", respectively.

Logan rolled his eyes, and said a few choice bad words. He said a few more as he felt the ground rumble under his feet.

* * *

Outside, Lance Alvers and Piotr Rasputin were at it again. Lance had grabbed Kitty Pryde as soon as he'd arrived. Unfortunately, Piotr'd chosen that moment to appear with flowers for Kitty. The two had gotten into another shouting match. Althea Delgado, Todd Tolensky, Fred Dukes, and Kurt Wagner were all watching with interest. Kurt and Toad were betting on which of the two would win, and if someone would stop the fight before there was a clear winner. Kitty was standing off to the side, tired of stopping the old routine.

"Ten bucks on Avalanche," Todd said. "No way, mein Freund," Kurt replied. "Colossus is really angry today. Fifteen on him." "I don't know," Todd told him. "Lance is working through a lot of rage. He heard Kitty went on a date with Metal-Head yesterday." Kurt considered. "I'd call it even," he decided.

Scott chose that moment to appear. "Just what we need," he groaned. "Alvers making another mess."

"Hey," Fred told him, "Piotr ain't exactly just standing there."

"But Alvers is the one who started it," Scott replied. "He's always the one who does."

"Hey," Althea said, "The Russian is the one that threw the first punch."

Scott decided to switch tactics. "Why do you feel the need to come over here, anyway?" he groaned. "Can't you go bother someone else for a change?"

"What's the fun of that, yo!" laughed Todd. "It's so much more fun to bother you!"

On cue, enraged screams could be heard inside the mansion. "Pietro, I'm not telling you again! Stay out of my underwear drawer! And that goes for the girls', too!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" Pietro could be heard shouting, as the sounds of Forge trying to blast him could be heard. "Can't catch me! Can't catch me!"

"BA's coffee?" Kurt asked Todd.

"Three cups," confirmed Todd.

"Ouch," winced Kurt.

The sound of explosions could be heard, accompanied by Tabby screaming at Ray, Ray screaming at Tabby, and Jean screaming in general frustration. Scott ran back inside to try to help her separate the two, leaving the Misfits to their own devices.

As Rogue flew up to the group watching Lance and Piotr, who were now wrestling on the ground, Fred asked, "Would you like to accompany me to the pantry, madame?"

Rogue looked around at the chaos. Fred raised an arm in invitation. She shrugged, and accepted it. "Why not," she said. "At least that usually provides some variety in the entertainment." The two left for the kitchen, leaving Kurt, Todd, and Althea. "This is getting boring," Althea commented.

Then, an evil grin appeared on her face. "Let's see what we can do to liven it up a little."

She concentrated. The nearby swimming pool emptied itself into the air at her command, the water gliding stealthily over to the two combatants. It crept under them, and began to raise them into the air. Neither noticed. Lance was too busy trying to strangle the metal-skinned Piotr, why the large Russian was trying to land a solid punch in the close quarters. Kurt and Todd, however, began to laugh.

They laughed even harder as an unsuspecting, weary-looking Jean stepped out of the mansion and directly underneath the raised water. It was an opportunity too good to miss.

Althea let the water fall, drenching Jean, Lance, and Piotr, as well as dropping the two boys almost five meters to the ground.

Jean yelled, "Wavedancer!"

Althea grinned cheekily and waved, as the redhead got to her feet and stormed back inside the mansion to dry off and change.

Yes, it was just a typical day at the X-Mansion.

Until a blinding flash of light surrounded and blinded the kids outside.

* * *

Todd blinked, trying to clear the afterimage from his retinas. Slowly, the world came back into focus. Standing where there had been nothing the moment before were three figures. They were vaguely familiar, but his mind was still registering that as he instantly dropped into an offensive crouch. Beside him, Althea and Kurt had done the same. Mutants poured out of the mansion to face whatever threat had just come.

The three men just stood there, looking around with bewilderment. They wore strange looking helmets, and were dressed in combat fatigues, old and worn.

Todd was just about to attack when Xi, emerging from the mansion, yelled, "Don't!"

He approached one of the strange figures, and reached out his hand. He touched the other's arm for a long moment.

He blinked, confused, and repeated the process with the other two. Finally, he stepped back, and turned to Althea.

"They are us," he said simply.

* * *

Next time: The Misfits and the X-Men meet the travelers, and learn some of what lays in store for them. Will they be able to cheat Fate? Tune in again, for chapter three of _Misfits In Time_!


	3. Tempus Temptation

__

Red Witch: Thank you very much! I'm honored. I hope I can do right by your characters.

RogueFanKC: Thank you. I was afraid it might feel cliched. And thanks for adding me! It is an honor.

c-wolf: Thank you. That's a wonderful compliment to a writer such as myself.

* * *

Chapter 3: Tempus Temptation

* * *

_Bayville, The present..._

"'Us'," repeated Todd. "What do you mean, 'us'?"

"They are myself, Avalanche, and Roadblock," Xi told him.

"How is that possible?" asked Scott.

"Time travel device," said older Roadblock. "It wasn't nice. Nearly tore off my head. Without this helmet, I'd be dead."

"That's Roadblock, alright," grinned Althea.

"Wait," said Jean. "Did you say, 'time travel device'!"

"Yes," said older Xi. "Trinity created a means by which we were able to come back in time and prevent our future."

"WHAT!"

hr

"Mutant Registration Bill?"

"Yes."

"What happened?"

"Civil war. Enemies became friends, and friends became enemies. We can't tell you who, because we want to make it so it never happened."

Xavier steepled his fingers in front of his face, deep in thought. Across from him sat older Xi, Roadblock, and Avalanche. Also crowded into his office were Todd, Althea, Lance, Xi, Roadblock, Scott, Jean, Logan, Hank, and Ororo. There was a link open to General Hawk at the Pit.

"I see," he said. "If what you say is true, we will help you in any way we can. But I can't even detect your minds. I have no way of knowing."

"They are us," Xi insisted. "They are telling the truth."

"If Xi says they're on the up-and-up, I believe him, yo," Toad told him.

"I don't see how we have any other choice," said Hawk over the link. "We can't risk our future because of a few doubts."

"Very well," sighed Xavier. "We'll help."

"Thank you," older Roadblock told him.

* * *

Older Avalanche and Lance walked through the woods bordering the mansion. Each was silent, uncomfortable with the other.

"So," Lance broke the silence, "do I get Kitty?"

Older Avalanche looked at him. "I can't tell you, rmember?" he told his younger self.

"Right," sighed Lance.

Older Avalanche took pity on his younger self. "I can show you something cool," he grinned. He concentrated. The ground rose up around them, the earth molding itself into humanoid forms. As Lance watched in amazement, the earth took on the features of some of the Joes and Misfits.

"Well," he commented, "I'm impressed. When does that happen?"

"About a month from now," older Avalanche told him. "A word of advice? Don't form a Kitty when you're trying it out. I was in double therapy sessions for three months with Beach Head and Psych-Out."

Lance grinned. "I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

Xi and XI were following a different path through the woods. One involving trees.

"You must be made ready," XI said suddenly. Xi cocked his head to the side. "For what?" he asked.

"For the enemy's attack," XI told him. "It will come from closer than you think."

"Who?" Xi asked simply.

XI told him.

* * *

_The Pit_

Hawk disconnected the link with a final "Goodbye, Mr. President." He turned to Duke, who was standing behind him.

"Now that the President knows the general situation, we can proceed with full authority. I want quarters prepared for our three time travelers. Put them in with the kids. We'll see how they get along."

"Yes, sir," Duke nodded.

* * *

Older Avalanche winced suddenly, and let out a tiny yelp of pain. Lance turned to him instantly, and concernedly asked, "What's wrong?"

"Don't worry, kid," gasped older Avalanche. "Just an old wound from the war."

He hobbled over to the side of the path, and formed a chair out of the exposed earth. He collapsed into it, clutching his right leg.

"What happened?" asked Lance.

Older Avalanche regarded him for a second, then sighed. "I guess you have the right to know," he told his younger self. "It was about ten years from now. The Misfits who are still alive were on a mission in what used to be Texas. We got ambushed by Cobra troops." He paused, collected himself, and continued. "A few of the X-Men were with us. Iceman, Gambit, Colossus. When Cobra started firing, Colossus tried to armor up. But it was too late. He'd been hit several times, was barely breathing. I picked him up, and yelled at the others that we had to get out of there. We tried. We really did. But I got hit in the leg. I dropped Colossus. Fred picked him up, and tried to shield the rest of us, but even he wasn't big enough. Cobras killed both Gambit and Claudius. Dumb kid shouldn't even have been with us." His eyes filled with tears. "Dumb kid. Dumb us for letting him come." He started to sob. Lance stood there awkwardly, not sure what to say. Older Avalanche sniffed, and continued. "When we got back to base, they took me straight to the infirmary. Stayed there for three days. Left when I heard Colossus wouldn't make it. I stood by him while he died. Just before it happened, he turned to me, grinned, and said, 'You win.'"

The two were silent, as the shadows of the woods grew deeper around them.

* * *

_Bayville, 20 years in the future..._

Hawk stood back up. "I thought you'd never get here," he said.

"We were delayed by a little roundup problem," said the leader. "What should we do with this mess?"

"Leave it," Hawk ordered coldly. "All that matters is that we have the device. There is just one little problem."

"What is it, Lord Zartan?" asked the leader.

"Hawk" grabbed his hair and pulled. His face slid off, revealing the visage of Zartan underneath.

"Three of them managed to leave before you got here," he said.

* * *

Next time: What is Zartan doing as Hawk? What will happen now that future Cobra has it's hands on the time machine? And how will Lance react to the news of Colossus' future death? All this and more, coming soon! Tune in again, for chapter four of _Misfits In Time_!

* * *

**Note: To keep confusion from reigning, I think a chronology and roll call are in order.**

**Chronology: While _Misfits In Time_ takes place in Red Witch's Misfitsverse, it is an alternate timeline to that series. You might say it's an AU-squared. While keeping constant with some developments, such as transporter watches and the departure of Spyke from the X-Men, other developments, such as the arrival of new Misfits past Arcade and X-Men past Gambit and Colossus, have not occurred. I hope that clears that up.**

**Roll Call (in no particular order):**

**X-Men: Professor Xavier, Scott Summers, Jean Grey, Logan, Ororo Munroe, Kitty Pryde, Kurt Wagner, Rogue, Tabby, Remy, Piotr Rasputin, Bobby Drake, Jamie Madrox, Ray, Roberto, Amara, Forge, Hank McCoy**

**Misfits: Roadblock, Low Light, Shipwreck, Cover Girl, Spirit, Lance Alvers, Fred Dukes, Pietro, Wanda, Xi, Todd Tolensky, Althea Delgado, Arcade, Trinity (Brittany, Daria, Quinn), Claudius, Baby Beak**

**Joes: General Hawk, Duke, Falcon, Bazooka, Alpine, Jinx, Lady Jaye, Beach Head, Psych-Out, Blind Master, Storm Shadow, Sgt. Slaughter, The Renegades (Tauros, Red Dog, Mercer), BA LaCarte**

**Other: The Jugglers (Generals Red, Black, Blue, Green), General Whithalf, Older Xi (XI), Older Roadblock, Older Avalanche**

**Villains: Cobra (Cobra Commander, Destro, The Baroness, Dr. Mindbender, Xamot, Tomax), Magneto, Emma Frost, Zartan, Zanya**


	4. Out of All the Places I’ve Lived, This i

_Red Witch: Thank you, very much. I hope it lives up to your expectations._

_goofn1: Lance is one of my favorites, too. Although, I guess I like all the old Brotherhood. And you'll see later about Kitty_

**Author's Note: This chapter is inspired by the title/ quote. I hope it lives up to expectations.**

Chapter 4: "Out of All the Places I've Lived, This is Definitely One of Them!"

* * *

_The Pit, The present..._

"What's the password, Sir!"

"Do I really have to do this?"

"Yes!"

"Please, just let me in."

"Not without the password, Sir!"

"Todd, how many cups of BA's coffee had you had today?"

"Three, Sir!"

"I was afraid of that. Look, how am I supposed to know what the password is?"

"Because you're the General, Sir!"

"General Whithalf is a general, and I bet he doesn't know the password."

"Actually, he did, Sir!"

"Wait, you mean- My God, is he in there with you!"

"Yes, Sir!"

"Hello, Hawk! How are you today!"

"Hello, General Whithalf. I'm fine, other than not being able to get into my office."

"Well, why don't you just tell him the password?"

"Because I don't know what the password is!"

"No need to get upset, old boy. Just guess! That's what I did."

"(Sigh) Fine. Aardvark?"

"Nope!"

"Anteater?"

"Nope!"

"Butterflies?"

"You got it, Sir!"

"Um... Todd... you haven't by any chance _eaten_ any butterflies today?"

"Just three, Sir!"

"Oh, God..."

"They were delicious, Sir!"

"Todd, I think I hear Althea calling you. Go see what she wants."

"Yes, Sir!"

"So, General Whithalf, what's brings you to the Pit today?"

"What?"

"The Pit, General."

"Is that where I am? I thought I was at my club!"

"No, General, you're at the GI Joe base."

"I thought the service seemed worse than usual."

"Yes, General."

"Well, while I'm here anyway, Hawk, why don't you give me a little progress report on our three travelers?"

"Our who, General?"

"Your three time travelers, of course! Who else could I mean?"

"Of course."

"Well?"

"They seem to be settling in well, General. Of course, they've been here less than a day, so it's hard to tell. Still, I think they'll be fine."

"Splendid! Mind if I look around a bit?"

"Of course not, General. Why don't I get you a guide, and-"

"Oh, nonsense! I don't want to be a bother!"

"But, General-"

"No, I refuse to be a bother to anyone! I can just show myself around!"

"But-"

"The matter is closed, Hawk. I've made up my mind. If someone could just point me in the direction of the mess."

"I do not need this headache. Duke, come in."

"Yes, General Hawk?"

"General Whithalf is wandering around again. Could you get someone to keep an eye on him?"

"I would, Sir, be we kind of have a situation here."

"Dare I ask? What is it now?"

"The kids got into the coffee again. Now they're running wild on the base. Pietro and Xi are streaking, Todd and Althea are painting the mess hall, Lance and Blob are arguing over which of them is the better cook, Wanda and Arcade are destroying the target range, the Triplets just blew up a tank with Bazooka still in it, and the babies are attacking everyone who comes near them!"

"I didn't even know the babies drank coffee!"

"They didn't. Apparently they got their hands on a couple of chocolate bars. Anyway, we've got every spare Joe either here or on their way for damage control."

"Theoretically, naturally."

"Yes, Sir. I think Low Light and Roadblock just joined Wanda and Arcade, and Shipwreck is showing the Triplets the weakest spots on a tank for future explosives placement."

"In other words, this is going to be a typical day?"

"I'm afraid so, Sir."

"Okay, Hawk out. Well there is one thing I can say about this madhouse. Out of all the places I've lived, this is definitely one of them!"

* * *

Next time: The time travelers settle in, and the Misfits pay another fun visit to the X-Men. But who will show up to try to spoil their fun? I'm guessing you won't have any idea, and that's just the way I like it! Tune in again, for chapter five of _Misfits In Time_!

Oh, and for future reference, older Xi is now known as XI, Older Avalanche is now known as Quake, and older Roadblock is now known as Block. Just tired of typing "older" in front of their names, I guess!


	5. Running With Porcupines

_Red Witch: Thank you! You have no idea what an honor this is to me!_

_c-wolf: I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I meant an author like me **who isn't exactly always sure about the quality of his stories**. Please come back!_

**Author's Note: Part of this chapter is inspired by a weird mental connection between Weird Al's CD "Running With Scissors" and a Gary Larson cartoon involving a porcupine that suddenly goes flat for no apparent reason. Enjoy!**

Chapter 5: Running With Porcupines

* * *

"Wheeeeheeheeheeheeeee!"

"Now what?" sighed Roadblock.

He was sitting in the kitchen of the Misfit house with Cover Girl and Low Light, sipping coffee.

"From the sound of things, I'd say Pietro's on some kind of sugar high," smirked Cover Girl. "And we all know what that means."

"Oh, no..." groaned Low Light.

Pietro burst into the kitchen. "Hey, Low Light!" he exclaimed. His eyes were wide and slightly glazed, and the smile on his face looked like it might almost be physically hurting him. "Wanna come see what I found! It'sreallycoolandIlikeitandyoumightlikieitanddidImentionthatit'sreallycool!"

"Slow down, kid, and shut your lid," Roadblock told him. "Now take a few deep breaths, and repeat what you said."

Pietro inhaled and exhaled noisily, then repeated at a slightly slower speed, "Wanna come see what I found! It's really cool and I like it and I think you might like it too! It's really really reallyreallyreally super cool!"

"What is it?" asked Low Light suspiciously.

"It's a porcupine!" exclaimed Pietro gleefully.

"Kid, wait-" started Roadblock, but it was too late. Pietro had already zipped off again, presumably to find and bring back the porcupine.

"Oh, no," Low Light groaned again. "Why does that kid have to pick on me? Why not one of you?"

"Face it," grinned Cover Girl. "Like it or not, you two have bonded."

"We're not bonded," muttered Low Light darkly. "We're crazy-glued." He glared at the other two as they cracked up.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lance, Todd, and Fred were in the backyard, talking. Or, rather arguing. As usual.

"But where do they go?" asked Fred.

"Lalalalalaaa," sang Lance. "I'm not listening!"

"It's a valid point," said Todd. "Plus, there are so many more ways to do it."

"I can't hear you!" Lance nearly shouted.

"They need some place to go," Fred told them again.

Lance took his hands off his ears and glared at them. "For the last time," he growled, "there is no bathroom in _Clue_. Deal with it!"

"But they can electrocute someone, or drown them, or poison them, or do all kinds of stuff," exclaimed Todd.

"Yeah, and where do they go if they have to pee?" continued Fred.

"The potted plants! You satisfied!" screamed Lance.

"Touchy," commented a familiar voice.

"Oh, no," groaned Lance. "Please, no." Rather foolishly, he turned around.

"What?" grinned the Coyote. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

Todd and Fred watched with interest as Lance argued with the air. "Here he goes again," sighed Todd. "Didn't you give him his medicine?"

"I thought it was your turn," replied Fred.

"Wanna blame Shipwreck?"

"Yeah, okay."

"I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR DIRTY PICTURES OF ELVIS AND THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!" screamed Lance.

* * *

The three adults heard Lance screaming outside.

"Didn't you give him his medicine?" Roadblock asked Low Light.

"I thought it was your turn," Low Light told him.

"Wanna blame Shipwreck?" asked Cover Girl.

"Yeah, okay," replied the other two.

* * *

The three time travelers were conversing amongst themselves.

"For the last time," Quake snapped at the empty air. "I do not want to see your dirty pictures of Elvis and the Loch Ness Monster!"

"I wish they still made that medicine he used to take," sighed Block. "Then we'd have a much calmer Quake."

"I've always wanted to ask you," XI told him. "Why do you rhyme when you speak?"

"I don't know," replied Block. "Something I picked up before joining GI Joe."

"You know what!" snapped Quake. "I'm not talking to you anymore. What? Try it and I'll wring your dog neck! Yes, I know you're a coyote! It was a frickin' insult! Same as for the past twenty years! Shut up!"

"Quake, back to reality," coaxed Block. Quake blinked, and his eyes glazed over for a moment.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"What should we tell them?" asked XI, picking up the conversation where they'd left off when Quake started hallucinating.

"I've already told me about Piotr," Quake told them.

"What!" snapped Block. "Do you have rocks in your head! If he tries to save him, you'll end up dead!"

"I had to!" Quake defended. "It's not easy keeping secrets from yourself!"

"I must admit," Xi sighed, "I told myself everything."

"Am I the only one here who can keep a secret?" groaned Block.

* * *

Althea and Wanda had decided to round everyone up.

"Come on!" Althea clapped her hands. "We're going over to torture the X-Geeks!"

"Right with ya, Babe!" Todd called. He turned to Fred. "Chocolate!"

"Vanilla!" returned Fred.

"Chocolate!"

"Vanilla!"

"Chocolate!"

"Vanilla!"

"Strawberry," blinked Xi, appearing next to them. They both glared at him.

"Chocolate!" shouted Todd.

"Vanilla!" shouted Fred.

"Strawberry!" shouted Xi.

The three time travelers walked outside. Quake groaned when he saw Lance arguing. "Not again."

He joined his younger self in arguing with the air. The others rolled their eyes.

"What are you up to?" asked Block.

"We're going over to the X-Geeks'," Xi told him. "Do you wish to come?"

Block and XI looked at each other, and shrugged. "Why not?" Xi replied to his younger self.

Arcade came bounding out. "Ah, my beautiful Cerebro," he sighed. "Soon I shall be with you once more, my sweet..."

Block snickered. "Believe it or not, he's still like this." Then he sobered. "At least, we hope so."

"What?" asked Todd.

"Nothing," Block told him. "Don't worry about it, kid. Let's go!"

Just before they dematerialized, Wanda said, "I can't help feeling we're forgetting someone..."

* * *

"See, Low Light!" exclaimed Pietro, running back into the kitchen. "See the porcupine!"

"Aw, gross!" moaned Cover Girl.

"Pietro, you realize that's roadkill?" asked Low Light.

"Why is there even a porcupine in this area?" wondered Roadblock.

* * *

"Has either of you seen the porcupine?" asked Daria.

"I thought you had it," Quinn told Brittany.

"Don't look at me," defended Brittany.

* * *

"Ah," sighed Scott. "The sun is out, the birds are singing, and best of all... no Misfits!"

Jean winced when an explosion sounded from inside the mansion. "I think you spoke too soon," she moaned.

Todd and Althea walked out. Well, Althea walked. Todd hopped.

"'Sup, yo!" he greeted the two senior X-Men.

"Toad, do us all a favor and hop to the bottom of the pool," groaned Scott.

Althea responded by using the pool water to soak Scott and Jean.

"Why'd you soak me!" Jean exclaimed angrily.

"Because I felt like it," smirked Althea.

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the mansion, Shipwreck was attempting to woo Storm, with limited success.

"There once was a Storm from Nantucket?" he started hopefully.

Storm's eyes glowed white, and lightning zapped Shipwreck's butt.

"YEEEEOOOOWWW!"

Hank sighed as Shipwreck ran by, with smoldering buttocks, an angry Storm following and hurling bolts of lightning at him.

"Your move," he told Logan.

"I'm thinking!" snapped Logan, looking down at the chess board.

The ground shook, knocking all the pieces off the board. The two men stared at each other.

"Your private stash, or mine?" asked Logan.

"Why limit ourselves?" Hank replied.

* * *

The kids were all outside by this point. The normal feuds had been set aside for the fun of watching Quake and Colossus face off.

"Come and get it, old man!" taunted Piotr.

"You want some of this, punk!" snapped Quake. "You want some of this!"

"Do I really act like that?" moaned Lance, watching his older self.

"Naw, you've really mellowed out with age," Todd laughed. Lance smacked the back of his head. "Hey!"

Unknown to the kids, a dark figure was watching over the wall. He groaned to himself.

"I must be crazy to come here," he muttered.

Quake and Colossus started shoving each other.

The dark figure made sure the white cloth was raised, and jumped the wall.

The kids all whirled around, and gasped.

"What are _you_ doing here!" demanded Althea.

Destro waved his white flag defensively.

"Much as it pains me to admit it," he told the group, "I need your help."

* * *

Next time: What's Destro up to? What mad twist have I come up with now? You know there's only one way to find out! Tune in again, for chapter six of _Misfits In Time_!


	6. A Talk or Few

_Goofn1: Poor Hawk, indeed. Glad you like the new names. There's some more Lance in this chapter for you... just for you... Creepy, ain't I?_

Chapter 6: A Talk or Few

* * *

"You have five seconds to tell us what you want," growled Althea. "And it started four seconds ago."

The Misfits and X-Men prepared themselves to launch an attack.

Destro quickly began to explain.

"Yesterday, we were minding our own business, trying to take over the world, when there was this big flash of light that blinded us all."

The three time travelers paled slightly.

"When it had faded, Zartan was standing there with some people. Only, it wasn't Zartan. Or it was. He said they came from the future. Then, they attacked us. We scattered, of course. Now, for all I know, he's in charge of COBRA, and he's plotting against us all!"

"What does that have to do with us?" asked Todd.

Quake told the group, "Zartan is the leader of the President's military. If he got his hands on the time device, it means he was impersonating one of the people we left behind. And now, it seems he's here."

Then XI gave an evil smile. "Which means he's stuck here for the next twenty years," he added. The others looked at him in confusion. "The device only sends people back," he explained. "It can't bring them forward."

Destro shrugged this off. "Better the enemy you know than the one you don't, right?" he asked hopefully. "With this future Zartan in charge, none of us knows what can happen!"

"You'll need to talk to the adults," Scott told him.

* * *

"Destro actually came to us for help? _Destro?_"

Hawk's disbelief was clear through the link. Block stepped into view next to Xavier. "As much as I hate to admit it, he's right," he told the general. "It's better on COBRA's side to fight. At least for now."

Quake appeared on the other side of Xavier. "Trust us on this," he added. "We hate Destro more than we do, and even we can see that he's the preferable choice compared with our Zartan."

"I don't like it," muttered Hawk. "He's up to something."

"Still," Xavier told him, "I don't see how we have a choice. If it's bad enough for one of your sworn enemies to come to you for help..."

"I see your point," sighed Hawk. "But I still don't like it!"

* * *

Destro sat uncomfortably in the TV room. All the kids and adults were sitting around him, shooting him baleful stares. He fought the urge to fidget uncomfortably. Command thousands of troops in a life or death battle against his mortal enemies? No problem. Sit in a room filled with teenagers who hated his guts? He shuddered slightly.

No one was speaking. They were all just watching him. Staring at him. He was about to snap.

He cleared his throat nervously. "So," he started, and winced at his voice, which was a little higher than usual, "what is there to do around here?"

"Pound on COBRA scum," growled Todd, not blinking his narrowed eyes. Destro gulped.

Xavier wheeled out, accompanied by Block and Quake. Destro looked at them with an expression not unakin to a drowning man being offered a lifeboat.

"After much debate," Xavier told the group, "and with much reservation, we've decided that it is in our best interest at this time to help Destro with what we asks. We're going to leave in an hour, to return to their temporary base and coordinate with-" his eyes narrowed "-Cobra Commander."

"Thank you," Destro told him fervently. It wasn't so much for agreeing to help. It was more for arriving in time to keep him from getting himself killed.

* * *

The Misfit handlers had arrived at the mansion, along with several other Joes. Most of them were guarding Destro warily. The handlers were talking separately with their kids.

"But why do we have to do this?" whined Todd. "They're our enemies! They've tried to kidnap and kill us a lot!"

"I know," muttered Roadblock. "I don't like it either. But COBRA's not as big a threat. We'll deal with them when it comes to that. For now we have to focus on Zartan. From our timeline, he's about to show his hand."

Lance was talking to Spirit. "I don't like it," he told his "father". "COBRA's up to something."

"Of course they're up to something," Spirit told him. "They always are. As long as we know that, we will be okay."

"Older me's told me a little about Zartan," Lance admitted. "He's more dangerous than ever. Apparently, he engineered the deaths of the entire COBRA High Command, and took power. Once the new President was elected, he offered COBRA's resources in the war."

Spirit looked at him thoughtfully as he suddenly stopped talking. "He told you something else, too," he observed quietly.

"Yeah," admitted Lance, not daring to look Spirit in the eye. "He... he told me that Piotr's going to die soon. And that I won't be able to save him."

Spirit reached out an arm, and pulled Lance to him. The teen started to sob quietly in the older man's embrace. Spirit patted his back soothingly.

"There is always a way," he told his charge. "Now that you have been warned, you may be able to prevent it."

"But what if I can't?" Lance asked, tears filling his eyes. "I hate him, but I don't want him to die! I don't see how I can figure out a way to save him!"

Spirit pushed him gently to arm's length, and looked him in the eye. "I have faith in you," he said, simply. "If there's a way, you'll find it."

Althea and Todd walked over to the two. Lance quickly dried his eyes, and tried to act casual. "Is it time?" he asked.

"Yeah," answered Althea. "It's time. The others are waiting."

The group walked around the side of the building. Gathered were the Misfits, minus Trinity and the babies, their handlers, minus Shipwreck, and the Joes who had come along for the ride. With them were the older X-Men, Xavier, Logan, Scott, Jean, Kurt, Rogue, Gambit, and Colossus. Destro was in the center of the group, looking distinctly nervous. The three time travelers were closest surrounding him.

"Let's do this," Althea told the group.

* * *

Hawk addressed the four Omega Jugglers on his viewscreen.

"They're going with him now," he reported.

"Hawk, if this goes wrong, you're gone," said Red.

"We can't trust him," Green said.

"Of course we can't," snapped Black. "But it's our only option."

"Not if you'd listened to me!" snapped Red.

"Shut up, Red," snapped Blue. "Black is right. It's our only option right now."

"I still don't like it," said Green.

"None of us do," Hawk told him. "But I think we have to go along with him, if just for now."

"Agreed," said Black. "Omegas out."

The viewscreen flickered to black.

Hawk sat back in his chair, and sighed. "I hope we know what we're getting ourselves into," he muttered to himself.

* * *

Next time: The kids are on their way to the COBRA base! What awaits them there? And what is future Zartan up to? Tune in again, for chapter seven of _Misfits In Time_!


	7. COBRA!

_RogueFanKC: You don't have to wait! Here's the next exciting chapter! As for Shipwreck, I've read your profile. Nice explanation._

_Red Witch: No explosions yet, but I'm sure I can work a few into the next chapter. I only have Running With Scissors and Poodle Hat, but I now have access to hearing a lot more, including his theme song for Spy hard. By the way, there's something I've been meaning to ask. Are the Triplets at all inspired by Melody, Harmony, and Rhythm from the Xanth books? They act a lot alike. And those girls are called the Triplets, too. Just curious._

**I apologize in advance for this chapter. I wrote part of it while listening to Weird Al's "Harvey The Wonder Hamster" on auto-repeat, over and over. Mostly to drive my roommate insane.**

Chapter 7: "COBRA!"

* * *

"'Harvey, Harvey, Harvey the Wonder Hamster!

He doesn't bite, and he doesn't squeal!

He just runs around on his hamster wheel!

Harvey, Harvey the Wonder Hamster!'"

The Baroness groaned. "Stop!" she cried. "For the love of all that is holy, make it stop!"

"You know how he gets," smirked Mindbender.

"'Harvey, Harvey!'" sang Cobra Commander, waving his arms in the air and jumping up and down. "'Harvey the Wonder Hamster!' Everybody!"

Everyone in the room just looked at him.

"Fine, be that way..." he sulked.

Our heroes (and those X-Men guys, too) chose that moment to appear. They instantly assumed combat positions, as did all the Cobras in the room.

"Stop!" yelled Destro. "We're all uneasy allies here!"

"All right, Cobra Commander," said Roadblock, "what do you need? And if you mention money I'll punch you in the face for your greed."

"I would punch him myself," muttered the Baroness.

"Don't think I didn't hear that!" Cobra Commander yelled at her.

"What makes you think I didn't want you to?" she yelled back.

"Enough!" yelled Scott.

Cobra Commander looked at him in disgust. "Who shoved the stick up your-" he started, but was interrupted with a low-level blast from Scott's eyes.

The Misfits started cracking up.

"Shut up!" Scott yelled at them.

Cobra Commander looked at his Cobras for support, but they were laughing, too.

"Some followers you are," he grumbled.

hr

"So that's the situation," concluded Destro some time later.

"Ill as it makes me," Cobra Commander told the group, "I must ask for your help in getting rid of this upstart!"

"We'll do it," Roadblock told him, "but not for you. This is in our best interest, too."

"But of course," cooed the Baroness. She eyed Piotr appreciatively. "You have wonderfully toned muscles," she complimented him. The large Russian blushed. Destro glared and muttered something under his breath about magnets and knives. Lance and Quake smirked at him. It was slightly unnerving, since, except for the scar on Quake's left cheek, their faces were identical.

"Be glad Kitty wasn't here for that," laughed Lance.

"Yeah," chuckled Quake, "your metal butt would've been in big trouble!"

Piotr scowled at the two.

"Entertaining as this is," Althea commented, "we should probably get back to the business at hand."

"At least there's one level head among you," muttered Mindbender.

Althea glared at him. "Coming from you, jerk-off, that's really saying something," she spat.

"One experiment!" shouted Mindbender. "One experiment, and it's all I hear about for the rest of my life! Well, maybe it was three or four, but still..."

Todd kept Althea from jumping the insane geneticist. She spat a stream of words at him that had Shipwreck and Logan blushing, not to mention everyone else.

"I would run, yo," Todd advised Mindbender, "because in about three seconds I'm gonna let her go."

Mindbender scampered out of the room, whimpering.

Todd released Althea, who fumed in silence.

"Amusing," commented Destro, "but we really must get back to the matter at hand."

"I think we..." started Xamot, walking in.

"...should invade Cobra," finished Tomax, coming in behind his twin.

"We're Cobra!" hissed Cobra Commander.

"Not right now, you're not," smirked Quake. Cobra Commander fumed.

"All we need is..." started Tomax.

"...the element of surprise," finished Xamot.

"The heroes should do," they chorused.

"Is anyone else..." started Todd.

"...as creeped out by that..." continued Althea.

"...as we are?" finished Xi.

The three burst into peals of laughter as the Crimson Twins glared ineffectually at them. It didn't help that Cobra Commander, Destro, and the Baroness were also chortling.

"Let's just..." grumbled Xamot.

"...invade them," grumbled Tomax.

* * *

Lord Zartan looked at his new kingdom, and it was good. Those who had once been in power were now in hiding, and he could hunt them down and have them killed at his leisure.

"I love being me," he grinned to himself. "Twenty years to rule before I need to worry about anything!"

Zanya chose that moment to run into the room.

"We're under attack!" she gasped.

"What?" shouted Lord Zartan. "Impossible! Who could be stupid enough?"

"It's the Cobra leaders!" she told him. "They're working with the Joes and the X-Men!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed Lord Zartan. "That never happened in _my_ past! How could those idiots even work together anyway?"

"I don't know," shouted Zanya, "and I don't care! We need to get out of here!"

"Fine," grumbled Lord Zartan, as the base shuddered around them. "I'll leave for now. But this is not the end! I'll come back, and when I do, they'll all wish they'd never been born!"

The two fled down an escape tunnel, leaving the base behind.

* * *

"Well," said Fred, sitting on a pile of Cobra troopers, "we won."

"Unfortunately, we have not," XI told him solemnly. "Lord Zartan will be back for his revenge." He looked at the group of unlikely allies. "We must remain banded, at least for the moment, or risk certain defeat."

"Fine," grumbled Destro. "But you all have restricted range!"

"Chill out!" laughed Pietro. "It's not like we haven't seen the whole place before!"

"Unfortunate, bu true," stated the Baroness.

"Fine" muttered Destro. "You have the run of the place." He sighed. "I know I'm gonna regret this."

* * *

Next time: Zartan is on the run, and the kids are loose in Cobra HQ. There are times I love being me. Tune in again, for chapter eight of _Misfits In Time_!


	8. Tempus Fugitive

_c-wolf: Thank you._

**I apologize for the horrible pun that is this chapter title. Blame Xanth. It's not at fault, but blame it anyway.**

Chapter 8: Tempus Fugitive

* * *

"Arrggh!" growled Lord Zartan. "Those nincompoops may have delayed me, but they will not be able to stand against me! Even with those three incompetents helping them, I will prevail!"

"Yeah, yeah," yawned Zanya, studying her nails for a moment before bringing the file back up to them. "Horrible vengeance, yada yada yada. Have you ever shut up in twenty years?"

Lord Zartan glared at her. "Foolish whelp," he hissed. "Give me one reason I should not dispose of you now."

Zanya looked at him with an extremely bored expression on her face. "Because you need me to help out with stuff you've forgotten."

"More's the pity," muttered Lord Zartan, glaring at her.

* * *

The Cobras and Joes had retired to a conference room to discuss strategy. The Cobras sat on one end of the table, and the Joes sat on the other. Each group was glaring hatefully at the other.

"Where is the Baroness?" snapped Destro.

"Last I saw, she was trying to seduce the X-Man called Colossus," snickered Mindbender.

"Cradle-robbing whore," muttered Destro.

"Enough!" snapped Cobra Commander. "We still need to figure out what to do."

"That's right," said Roadblock. "Zartan we all must fight. He's a threat to everyone. If he comes back, it won't be fun."

"When he comes back," Block told his younger self. "He's bound to attack."

"Okay," Cobra Commander snapped. "Am I the only one being freaked out by these two?"

"No," chorused the Cobras, and, surprisingly, several of the Joes.

"Look," said Low Light. "I hate you all. But this moron needs to be stopped. We need to figure out what to do."

"Wait," Cover Girl suddenly held up a hand. "I just thought of something. Where are the kids?"

Everyone was suddenly very, very nervous looking.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Misfits had rediscovered the joys of tormenting Cobra Troopers.

"Yeeearggh!"

"The sinks! The sinks are attacking!"

"Who painted me purple?"

"Oww! Who keeps giving me wedgies!"

"My eyes! I can't see!"

"Holy cow! I can walk again!"

"What?"

"It seemed like the thing to say."

"Purple! Purple! I HATE purple!"

"Water bad! Water very bad!"

"Slime bad!"

"Water and slime bad!"

"Yeah!"

"Where are these earthquakes coming from?"

"Gaahhh! It's Eleven!"

"Who ate all the food?"

"Who drank all our beer?"

"Watch out for that-!"

"OOWWW!"

"I tried to warn you!"

"Get him off me! Get him off me!"

"The pain!"

"The water!"

"The slime!"

The Misfits surveyed their handiwork. "Good job, team," Althea complimented them.

* * *

At the same time, the X-Gee... er X-Men were trying to save Piotr from a fate worse than death.

"Come, my Russian love muffin," cooed the Baroness. "Let us make beautiful music beneath the silvery stars."

"Thank you, but no thank you," stammered the metal behemoth.

"Come," coaxed the Baroness. "Don't worry about such considerations as age and alliance."

"It's like a train wreck," commented Kurt. "You want to look away, but you just can't."

"Ten bucks says she gets him," grinned Rogue.

"You're on," Jean told her.

"Jean!" Scott was surprised.

"What?" she told him. "It's an easy ten bucks."

Kurt grinned. "Fifteen says she tries and he goes metal," he told the group.

"Remy take that bet," smirked Gambit.

"Take me to a Russian Wonderland," cooed the Baroness.

Piotr tried to back away from her, but she kept advancing.

"Fine," sighed Scott. "Twenty that he avoids her without going metal."

"You're on!" chorused the others.

They settled back to watch the fun.

* * *

"So we're all agreed?" asked Xavier, looking at the two sides.

"Yes," sighed Roadblock.

"Very well," muttered Cobra Commander.

"Then it's an alliance," concluded Xavier. "And it just might work."

The aide chose that moment to run in. "Cobra Commander!" he gasped.

"What is it?" snapped Cobra Commander, in a foul mood from the necessary alliance.

"We just found out that the infiltrator sent out a number of communications before your return," the aide told him. "He used all your Congressional connections! They're going to pass the Bill!"

"What bill?" asked Xavier, dreading the answer he knew was coming.

The aide told him. "The Mutant Registration Bill!"

* * *

Next time: Things take a serious turn, as our heroes must try to stop the Bill from passing. They know that if they fail, it will mean... WAR! Tune in again, for chapter nine of _Misfits In Time_!


	9. We Have to Stop the Bill!

_Red Witch: Yes, Harvey is truly wonderful. And big trouble is more accurate than you know._

_RogueFanKC: I think my pride in that gag is justifiable. As for Piotr and the Baroness, I have some plans for them in coming chapters. For now, I hope you like what's coming._

_Goofn1: Big trouble indeed, though not the kind you're thinking of. I wrote some Lance parts just for you._

_Everyone: Thank you for your reviews. I hope you continue to read after this chapter, but I have to warn you: Starting now, I'm going to do a major split with Misfit canon. Very major. It will become better, but we have some rough times ahead. Just a warning._

Chapter 9: "We Have to Stop the Bill!"

* * *

Lord Zartan chuckled menacingly. Zanya looked at him. "What's so funny?"

"Oh," he replied, "they should have discovered by now that I've used Cobra's resources to ensure that the Mutant Registration Bill will pass. And when it does, there will be no changing the past, and my enemies will once more have to endure twenty years of Hell on Earth!" He laughed menacingly.

Zanya rolled her eyes, and went back to her book.

* * *

"We have to stop the Bill!" cried Quake. "If it passes, there'll be war, and we'll all be wiped out again!"

"We mustn't allow this to happen," hissed Cobra Commander. "We are at risk, too. What do you recommend?"

"We'll need more support than we've got now, that's for sure," Xavier told them.

* * *

An intercom buzzed. "Baroness, quit trying to seduce the brat and get up here! We have an urgent situation!"

* * *

"What is it?" The Baroness did not look pleased. However, her expression changed when she heard the news. "We must stop this!"

"We agree," said Roadblock. He addressed the three time travelers. "Do you have any advice, anything you can remember?"

"Yes," said XI. "But we must all go to Washington, DC as soon as possible. We must also ask General Hawk to alert the Jugglers."

"How do you-" started Roadblock, then stopped. "Never mind. Let's just go gather the kids. By now the Cobras are flipping their lids."

The adults gathered their two teams, and the combined group met back outside the Cobra compound.

"How are we going to get there in time?" asked Cobra Commander. The Joes looked at each other.

"We'll have to teleport," said Quake.

The Joes were understandably reluctant, but there was no apparent alternative. They instructed each member of the Misfits to grab on to as many X-Men and Cobra troopers as they could. They did the same.

The group transported out, leaving the base deserted behind them.

* * *

"Too late now!" chortled Lord Zartan as he watched them via a few adapted "bugs". "That useful idiot Kelly has already succeeded with calling for a closed session. The only way they can succeed now is if they can get the President to interfere!"

* * *

"That's the situation, Mr. President," Hawk reported. "We need to stop the Bill from passing!"

"I see," replied the President. "But I can't go solely on the testimony of a few individuals who may or may not be from the future. Without more evidence, I can't stop the session. I'm sorry."

"I understand, Sir," sighed Hawk. "Hawk out."

There was only one more venue open to him, one he had desperately hoped he wouldn't have to take.

"Hello? Get me General Blue."

* * *

With a slight pop of displaced air, the Misfits and co. arrived in downtown Washington, DC.

"We need to get to Capitol Hill, so we can stop them passing that Bill," cried Block.

"Why do we need the Cobras for this, again," Lance asked Quake quietly.

Quake replied as quietly, "Because Zartan will have planned for this. If he tries anything, we'll need their support. Believe me, I don't like it any more than you. You can trust me on that. But it's necessary."

Even as he spoke, about thirty troops suddenly poured out of a couple nearby alleys and opened fire on them. Civilians screamed and, caught in a sudden deadly crossfire, began trying desperately to run. One woman caught a bullet in her shoulder and was twisted into mid air, where several more punched through her torso, spraying blood everywhere.

"Protect the civilians," cried Roadblock.

"YO JOE!" yelled the Joes.

"COBRA!" screamed Cobra Commander and his forces.

The Misfits and X-Men tried to get the civilians safely away from the fire fight. While Jean used her telekinesis to keep the bullets whining at them from hitting anyone, Lance and Quake used their combined powers to send a sheet of earth to throw the civilians out of the way. Althea broke a few water mains and sent the water to wash out their attackers. Fred waded into their midst, grabbing and twisting guns and limbs.

They appeared to be winning, until the helicopters appeared. Literally hundreds of attackers appeared from surrounding streets, armed with machine guns, bazookas, and even a few tanks. The helicopters sprayed them with thousands of rounds of ammunition a minute, and fired missile after missile at them.

They were holding their own, but barely. Cobra troopers and civilians screamed and died under the relentless assault. It was all the heroes could do to save themselves.

"Avalanche!" screamed Wanda over the din of battle. "Look out!" Lance turned, and found several men behind him, ready to fire. He threw up the earth without thinking as their bullets whizzed at him. He grunted as one hit him in the arm, but used his powers to encase his attackers in solid earth.

Roadblock and Block were leading a team of Joes, including Low Light, Cover Girl, and Bazooka, against a group of attackers who were trying to get through their right flank. "Yo Joe!" they yelled, firing into the mass and killing most of their enemies.

Cobra Commander was slashing at close enemies with long claws attached to his gloves. Not far away, Destro and the Baroness were back to back, firing randomly into the mass trying to get at them. A little beyond that, Blob and an armored Colossus were tossing attackers through the air to land in crumpled agony yards away. Beside them, Cyclops was using his eye blasts to strategically crumble walls to block more troops from coming at them.

Logan was protecting Xavier, who couldn't penetrate the helmets the attackers were wearing. He slashed at those foolish enough to get too close, disemboweling some, ripping out the throats of others. Xavier wanted to protest the slaughter, but for once, he realized his morals would not be enough to stop what was going on.

* * *

Lord Zartan watched the news coverage with a huge grin.

"In Washington, DC," said the buxom blonde reporter, "a massive street fight is still underway. While one side remains unknown, the other has been identified as being comprised of the terrorist organization Cobra and certain members of the vigilantes who call themselves the X-Men. It is believed that they have joined forces to attack the city, and we urge everyone watching to support the anonymous heroes trying to stop them."

Lord Zartan threw back his head and laughed.

"This is better than I had even dreamed!" he cackled. "Not only are my troops keeping them from stopping the Bill from passing, but these stupid news crews think that they're the enemy!"

"It is working out well," observed Zanya. "You must be proud."

"Oh, I am," Lord Zartan told her, not taking his eyes from the screen for a second. "I am."

* * *

"We have to get to a sheltered area!" Xavier called to Logan. "We need to be able to stop them long enough for help to get here!"

"We can't!" Logan called back. "There's too many of them! They've blocked off all our escape routes!"

Lance and Scott were working side by side, using their powers in concert to knock their attackers off their feet, then blast them through the air. Near them, Althea and Jean were using their powers to sweep away vast numbers of their anonymous enemy. Kurt was teleporting Todd throughout the enemy ranks, allowing Todd to cover them with paralyzing acid behind leaving as bullets whizzed through the air where they had been a moment before. Piotr and Fred were acting as a shield to allow Logan a respite to recover from his numerous wounds. Xi and Pietro were working to keep the attackers confused and off balance so that Wanda could throw them away with her hex bolts. Cobra Commander and Roadblock were fighting back to back, as were Destro and Low Light. Enmities were forgotten as they all struggled to survive this onslaught of death.

"We need to 'port out of here!" Quake called as his small army of animated earthen figures plowed through a group of troop that was trying to close in on them. "We need to regroup!"

The others agreed. The Misfits and Joes grabbed whoever they could, and activated their watches. They disappeared.

* * *

They reappeared at the Pit, where Lifeline and a team of medics was standing by to take care of the wounded.

"We're alive," gasped Lance, his energy spent.

"We made it," gasped Scott, next to him.

Todd's face was white. Althea noticed. "What is it?" she asked him.

He wordlessly took his hands off his chest, where they had been resting. There, right in the center, was a quickly spreading dark crimson stain.

"TODD!" screamed Althea.

* * *

Next time: Thoroughly routed, the Misfits have lost greatly. But they don't have time to mourn, as their base itself comes under attack! Tune in again, for chapter ten of _Misfits In Time_!


	10. Death of a Misfit

_RougeFanKC: After this chapter, I get the feeling we'll be finding out. As for the character, check out the web site I have in my profile, and look for "Tetsukaeru". You'll understand._

_Red Witch: More trouble ahead, I'm afraid._

**I dislike it greatly when people kill a character, then bring them back to life. I feel that if a character dies, they should have the decency to stay dead. But what defines death?**

Chapter 10: Death of a Misfit

* * *

As wounded Cobra troopers moaned in agony around them, the other Misfits could only look on in shock as Althea raced over to Todd.

He had crumpled like a limp rag doll, and now she sat, holding his head up in her arms, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Lifeline!" she screamed. "LIFELINE!"

The medic came out. He paled as he saw the situation. Curtly, he ordered some Joes to help him move the wounded boy inside for immediate treatment. Bazooka and Lady Jaye picked up his small form and carried him carefully into the small hospital.

Althea was held outside. She started screaming his name.

"Todd! TODD!"

Wanda reached out to her, and gently pulled her in, wrapping her arms around her comfortingly. Althea clung to her friend, huge sobs causing her whole body to shudder violently.

Fred's cheeks were wet with tears, streaks of pink running through the grime that had collected on his face during the battle. Lance stood silently, quivering, mind carefully blanked, knowing what would happen if he allowed himself to be overcome by the feelings sweeping turbulently through him. Xi also stood silent, his grief plainly etched across his face for all to see, for all to fear, for his eyes were filled with rage and hatred for those who had hurt his friend. Even Pietro was subdued, standing off to the side without a word.

The X-Men were shellshocked. Most of them didn't really like Todd, but none of them honestly wanted him to die. Kurt seemed to be taking it worst of the group, since he had been the one teleporting Todd around, keeping him out of danger for the most part. His blue face was as pale as it had ever been.

Scott walked over to Lance. Silently, he rested a hand on his enemy's shoulder. Lance nodded to him, but said nothing. Jean stood next to the weeping Althea and Wanda, unsure of what to do. Gambit and Rogue held each other close, Remy wincing slightly under her tight grasp, but not saying a word of complaint. Xavier sat with his head bowed, Logan still next to him.

Lifeline returned. "How is he?" demanded Lance.

Lifeline shook his head. "Not good," he told the gathered group. "He's lost a lot of blood, and the bullet is lodged in next to his heart. Even I can't work a miracle."

Althea screamed then, long, wordlessly, full of pain and rage and fear, and no one around could bring themself to look at her. Wanda rocked her back and forth like a child, trying to whisper comfortingly through her own many tears.

* * *

"Perfect!" laughed Lord Zartan, watching them secretly. "They are ripe for phase two!"

He switched on a comm link. "Send in Group Beta!" he ordered.

"Yes, sir," came the reply. "Group Beta deployed."

"Excellent," laughed Lord Zartan, switching off the link. "This never happened in my time. With the Joes, Cobra, and X-Men all wiped out together, there will be no one left who can oppose me! I shall rule all!"

As his laughter echoed throughout their hidden base, Zanya shivered to herself. She could hear a distinct tone of madness she had never heard before.

* * *

"What the-?" shouted Quake, as bullets suddenly began to whine through the air around them once more. "What's going on?"

"We're under attack!" came the reply. "They followed us somehow!"

"Joes!" roared Hawk, standing out with them. "Defend this base!" The Joes leapt to their defensive positions.

"Cobra!" screamed Cobra Commander. "Defend the Joes!" He paused. "Did I really just say that?" he wondered to himself.

The enemy swarmed into the compound, opening heavy fire on the battered group inside. The Joes and Cobra returned fire.

Althea blinked. She looked around her. Greenshirts and Cobras were dying side by side. Her eyes narrowed. A rumbling could be heard.

"What-?" wondered one of the attackers.

Like an apocalyptic flood from Biblical times, a huge wall of water rushed at the Pit. Gathered from all sources within a hundred miles, it came, at hundreds of miles an hour, millions of gallons, all under the command of a furious Wavedancer.

"DIIIEEEEE!" she screamed, and the huge wall of water surrounded the attackers. Great spikes of it shot into the air, destroying approaching helicopters. Men tried to run, but were quickly caught, their air cut off by the surrounding liquid. Before the horrified eyes of everyone watching, hundreds of men drowned only a few feet from air, their eyes bulging, wide, terrified, as they suffocated, their lungs filling with water.

"You have to stop!" yelled Roadblock, but Althea couldn't hear, the roar of the water no louder than the roar she could hear in her ears.

There was only one way they could stop her. Rogue moved up behind her, took off a glove, extended her hand, grabbed Althea by the back of the neck. Both gasped, Althea releasing control of the water, causing it to rush everyone, sweeping friend and foe alike off their feet. She collapsed, unconscious.

Rogue gasped for breath, her eyes wide from the horror of the thoughts running through her mind. She screamed in pain, and Xavier turned off her consciousness, releasing her into blessed darkness.

* * *

"No!" screamed Lord Zartan. "No! No! No! No! No!"

He raged around his command room. "This is impossible! She doesn't have that much power! Nobody has that much power! I am Lord Zartan! I cannot be defeated!"

"I'm sorry," said Zanya.

He whirled, and glared at her. "For what?" he hissed.

"For this," said Zanya, and she shot him between the eyes. With a very surprised look on his face, he collapsed to the ground, and rolled onto his side. Blood was already dripping down his forehead, a small amount. The rest was pouring out the back of his head, matting his hair, staining the ground crimson.

* * *

Althea regained consciousness. The first thing she saw was Lifeline, watching her with concern.

"Todd?" she asked.

He lowered his head. "Even I can't work miracles," he said quietly.

She was numb, and couldn't say or think anything as he prepared a needle, and gave her a sedative. As she slipped back to blackness, only one word ran through her mind. "Todd..."

* * *

Next time: With the apparent death of one of their number, the Misfits learn some disquieting truths about one another, and about the adults that lead them. But life goes on, as Lance and Piotr are sent on a joint mission to Washington to try once again to get the President's help. What will happen? Tune in again, for chapter eleven of _Misfits In Time_!


	11. Revelations

_RogueFanKC: Thank you. I usually write comedy, so this is an interesting experiment for me. That Wikipedia idea is good. As for Zanya, this chapter reveals the reason, if not the whole explanation (that comes later). Considering that this is part one in a trilogy, the end is a ways away. The whole trilogy is important to the story I'm starting here. And everyone reading this should join that forum. For those who don't know, it's found at the web site link in my profile._

_Goofn1: It will be interesting, indeed. As for Todd, well... Anyway, here's some fun stuff setting up a Lance/Piotr-centered chapter, where they explore their feelings for Kitty or just punch each other out. I'm leaning either way._

_Red Witch: Glad you caught that. Check out the forum I mentioned. It has a section in your honor!_

Chapter 11: Revelations

* * *

"I can't believe Althea would snap like that," Wanda shook her head. "I've never seen anyone go so crazy."

"You have to admit, she had a pretty good reason," Lance told her. "If it were Kitty, I would probably have done the same thing."

"I can't believe Toad is dead," Fred sobbed. "He was just bouncing around this morning! WAAAHHH!"

Wanda awkwardly tried to put an arm around Fred's massive shoulders. "It's okay," she told him. "Let it out..."

"This is impossible!" yelled Pietro.

"I know what you mean," sighed Lance.

"How could my hair be so messed up?" continued Pietro. "After all the conditioner I put in it!"

"SHUT UP, PIETRO!" the other three yelled at him.

"Sorry..." he lowered his eyes. "I just can't take it, you know? Sure, Toad was annoying, but he was our friend."

"Yeah," Wanda said softly. "He was a good friend..."

Lance heard her. "What?" he asked.

"He was..." Wanda began. "I dunno. He grew on you."

"I know what you mean," Fred told her sadly.

"I don't think we do," Pietro told the bigger teen. "Do we, Wanda?"

Wanda colored. "What do you mean by that?" she snapped.

"You tell us," snickered Pietro.

Wanda hexed him into the wall. "Owie..."

"Come on, you guys," Fred told them. "Show some respect for once."

"I bet if Mr. McCoy were here she would." Pietro had quickly recovered. He snickered as Wanda's face paled, then turned crimson. Pietro zipped behind Lance for protection while Fred held Wanda back.

"What did he mean by that?" asked Lance.

"I heard her and Althea talking the other day," snickered Pietro. "They were playing Truth or Dare, and Althea asked her who she liked most in that special way."

"Shut up, Pietro!" Wanda screamed at her brother, her face pink.

Lance chuckled. "The Beast? You like the Beast?" The two boys burst out laughing.

"What's wrong with that?" Fred was puzzled. "Lance likes Kitty and Pietro likes Tabitha."

"Great job keeping that to yourself, Blob," muttered Pietro.

"Tabby?" Lance turned to him. "You like Boom Boom?"

"Well, after the ninth time she walks in on your shower, you get to know each other," defended Pietro.

"I bet," snickered Fred.

"Shut up, Blob," Pietro muttered.

"Well, if it's any consolation, I'll bet Beast likes you too," Lance told Wanda.

"What makes you say that?" she asked. "Not that it matters, or anything."

Lance and Pietro exchanged glances. "We kinda heard him talking with Logan and Jinx," Lance admitted. "He didn't know what to do about liking someone so much younger than him."

"Really?" Wanda asked.

"Unfortunately, yeah," Pietro groaned. He shuddered. "That is such a gross image!"

Lifeline chose that moment to walk into the room. Immediately, the kids gathered around him. "How is she?" "Is she gonna be okay?" "Does she need anything?"

Lifeline sighed. "I've given her a sedative," he told them. "She's resting now. Xi's in there for when she wakes up. General Hawk told me to tell the rest of you to go over to the X-Men for now."

"What?" cried Lance. "Why do we have to go there? We should stay here with Al!"

"Yeah!" the others agreed.

"I'm sorry, but it's Hawk's orders," Lifeline told them. "He did say it had to do with a joint mission. Something to help you guys avenge Todd."

"In that case, what are we waiting for?" asked Pietro. The group quickly transported away.

* * *

They arrived at the Mansion to find Xavier, Hawk, Storm, Cyclops, and Colossus waiting for them.

"What do you need, Sir?" asked Lance.

Hawk hesitated, then said, "Against my better judgment, I need you to go on a last-ditch mission to stop the Mutant Registration Bill. You'll be paired with Colossus."

"What?" the two teens cried out at the same time. They glared at each other.

"There's no way I'm working with Metal Mouth," growled Lance.

"I'm not working with the Human Faultline," Piotr growled.

"We have no choice," Xavier sighed. "You two are the best suited for this particular mission. Try not to kill each other."

* * *

"Very sorry, indeed, 'Father'," smirked Zanya, as she put the pistol back.

Zartan stepped into the room.

"Good job, Zanya," he smiled. "Now, let's pick up where my unfortunate future self left off, shall we?"

* * *

"I can't believe this," grumbled Lance.

"_You_ can't?" muttered Piotr. "What were they thinking, pairing us up?"

"Exactly how I feel," Lance told him.

The two were making their way down a long steel corridor deep underground. "I still can't believe there's an unguarded tunnel to the Capitol."

"Da," Piotr agreed. "You'd think they'd at least have a booby trap."

As he spoke, the two passed a small red light near the floor. Their feet disrupted its beam, triggering mechanisms long unused.

"What's that sound," Lance stopped suddenly.

"The rocks rolling around in your empty skull," Piotr commented.

"No, I'm serious," Lance told him. "Shhh..."

Both boys were quiet. They could hear a faint rumblings. It was coming closer.

"Maybe we should turn back and try a different way?" gulped Lance.

"That seems like a good option," gulped Piotr.

As they turned, a huge metal block slammed down where they had come from.

The turned again, to find another block lowering in front of them. They were sealed in.

"Great," muttered Lance. "Now what?"

* * *

Next time: Oh, boy. Lance and Piotr, confined together in a small space. I pity whatever building is on top of them. Anyway, next time, Lance and Piotr are rescued, and we find out how the X-Men react to Todd's apparent demise. Tune in again, for chapter twelve of _Misfits In Time_!


	12. Trapped!

_Sorry for missing the last few days. I'll try to catch up today._

_Red Witch: I love it too. Here you go._

_RogueFanKC: You'll see just how bad the X-Men feel, particularly Xavier. He starts his decline in this chapter. As for Zartan, let's just say he's a bit more diabolical than we've seen before. And I've decided to do some bonding between the boys while they're trapped, so..._

_c-wolf: Well, what can I say? Suspense is fun._

* * *

**Our story thus far...**

**Three travelers from the future have arrived in the Bayville of the present, claiming that they have come to stop a civil war brought about by the passage of the Mutant Registration Bill. However, one of their mortal enemies has followed them into the past, and plots against them, sending wave after wave of armed men to hunt down our heroes and kill them all. During one of these battles, in Washington, DC, Todd Tolensky was shot in the heart and lays dying in the medical ward of the GI Joe base known as the Pit. Althea Delgado almost destroyed an entire army in her rage, but was stopped by the X-Man Rogue. While Althea recovers, Lance Alvers and Piotr Rasputin, rivals for the love of Kitty Pryde, have been sent together on a last-ditch effort to stop the Bill from passing when they are trapped deep underground...**

* * *

Chapter 12: Trapped!

* * *

_Xavier Institute, The Present..._

"I can't believe Toad is dead," sobbed Tabitha. Sam held her as she cried. "He was kind of disgusting sometimes, but he was pretty cool..."

Ororo sat facing the wall. She stared blankly into space, not moving, breath coming shallowly.

A couple of other students were crying softly. Bobby Drake had built himself a small room of ice and sealed himself in. The entire mansion was in mourning.

* * *

_The Pit..._

Things were no better among the X-Men remaining at the Pit. Jean was holding onto Scott. Gambit was rubbing Rogue's back gently. Kurt was staring into the middle distance, in temporary mental shutdown. Logan was trashing the firing range.

Xavier was taking it worst of all. His head was bowed, his eyes closed. He looked almost asleep. A single drop of liquid peeked through the lid of his left eye. He was holding an empty bottle of vodka.

* * *

"Great," muttered Lance. "Now what?"

"How should I know?" snapped Piotr. "You're the one who makes the earthquakes!"

"Yeah, but I don't exactly want whatever buildings are up there to come crashing down on our heads!" shouted Lance. "Why don't you try punching your way through!"

"These walls are too thick!" yelled Piotr, his accent thickening. "There is no way to break through for me!"

"Well then, what are you yelling at me for?" screamed Lance.

"What are you yelling at me for?" screamed Piotr.

The two quieted. They looked at each other for a long moment.

Lance was the first to crack. He began to chuckle.

"What is so funny," asked Piotr, working hard to keep from grinning.

"Nothing," Lance gasped trying to stop laughing.

Piotr began to laugh, and the two couldn't hold it in anymore. Their laughter echoed around them, until they were gasping for breath.

"Oh, man," Lance said finally, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. "I needed that."

"Da," agreed Piotr. "Me, too."

They looked around at the small compartment where they were trapped.

"Looks like we're going to be here a while," sighed Lance.

"Indeed," agreed Piotr.

"Wonder how much air we have," Lance thought out loud.

"That is a cheerful thought," grumbled Piotr.

"Just saying..." Lance defended. "Oh, boy..."

"Do you think anyone will find us?" asked Piotr.

"Impossible to say," sighed Lance. "I'm wearing my tracker, but they might be too busy right now to notice that we've stopped moving."

"So we wait," grumbled Piotr.

They sat in silence for a while. Piotr was the first to speak.

"You know, I don't really hate you," he said suddenly.

Lance looked at him. "What?"

"I don't really hate you," repeated Piotr. "If it weren't for Kitty, I might actually like you."

Lance thought a moment. "You know," he told Piotr, "I never really thought about it before, but I guess I feel the same way."

"If it weren't for Kitty," said Piotr.

"Yeah," agreed Lance.

They were silent again.

"Which doesn't mean I don't love her," Lance said after a while.

"Yeah," agreed Piotr. "I love her too."

"And she says she loves both of us," continued Lance.

"In different ways," Piotr reminded him.

"Have you ever wondered what that means?" asked Lance.

"Now that you mention it..." Piotr said thoughtfully.

They were quiet once more.

"I'll flip you," Piotr broke the silence.

Lance scooted back quickly. Piotr grinned. "Not literally."

"Oh."

"We need to be able to decide this."

"Since it's obvious she can't."

"Do you have a quarter?"

"It was your idea. You should use your quarter."

"I do not have a quarter."

"Then why did you bring it up?"

"I thought you might have a quarter."

"Fine," grumbled Lance, digging out a quarter. "We need some terms."

"How about this?" suggested Piotr. "The winner has Kitty to himself for two months."

Lance thought about it. "And the loser can't see her," he asked.

"If I lose, I will avoid her when possible," suggested Piotr. "If you lose, you will not visit."

"For two months?" asked Lance.

"Da," agreed Piotr.

"I know you won't trust me, so you can flip the coin," said Lance, handing it to him.

Piotr took the coin and held it ready. "Call it in the air," he told Lance, and flipped it.

"Heads," said Lance.

The two boys watched, as the coin seemed to twirl upward in slow motion. It reached its peak, and began a slow descent to the ground. It landed, bounced, landed again, and was still.

Lance's jaw dropped, and Piotr had a look of utter disbelief on his face.

The coin sat between them, resting on its side.

"We're cursed," moaned Lance, covering his eyes with his hands.

"Da," agreed Piotr, still staring at the coin.

* * *

"Where are those two," groaned Hawk. "We should have had word one way or the other by now."

"Let's try the tracker in Avalanche's watch again," suggested Duke.

"But we haven't been able to get a solid location in half an hour," Flint told him.

"We have to keep trying," Duke told him.

"Do it," ordered Hawk.

* * *

"Okay, this is absolutely the last time," said Lance. "This will decide."

"Da," agreed Piotr.

The coin flashed in the low lighting as it traveled through the air again.

"Side," groaned Lance.

"Just like the last eighty-seven tries," moaned Piotr.

"We're cursed," groaned Lance.

Then they heard a noise. "What is that?" asked Piotr. "It sounds like someone is cutting through," Lance said.

A single gleaming claw broke through the wall, right next to Piotr's head. He gulped, and scrambled quickly out of the way.

Logan cut through, and grinned when he saw the two boys. "Found 'em," he reported into his communicator. "They were trapped in the tunnel."

"Good work," Hawk said over the link. "Bring them home."

* * *

"So," said Zartan. "I'm to become the head military man in the future, am I. I like that. I like that a lot."

"With my help," Zanya reminded him.

"Of course, my dear," Zartan told her. "Let's get this show on the road. Soon, we'll be in control!"

* * *

Next time: It's the X-Men's second funeral for Todd, and the Misfit's first. However, it would seem that his body has disappeared! What's going on? Tune in again, for chapter thirteen of _Misfits In Time_!


	13. Mourning for a Misfit

_RogueFanKC: I was making myself laugh with the coin gag. I've never been good with grief. I'm more comfortable with humor, horror, whatever, so that section was shorter than maybe I thought it should have been. Still, thanks for your kind words. Here's your update!_

**I should probably warn you: I just watched _Scary Movie 3_, so this chapter might be a little... strange.**

Chapter 13: Mourning for a Misfit

* * *

"I can't believe Toad is dead," Wanda cried, as the group gathered around the casket.

"I know what you mean," Lance told her. "The little frog won't be around to jump on the furniture anymore."

Wanda cried harder.

"He won't be around to help torment Beach Head," continued Lance.

Wanda's face was practically gushing with tears.

"He won't be around to act as lookout when we're going through your stuff," Lance said without thinking.

Wanda's eyes flashed. "What?" she growled.

Lance gulped. "Mother..."

Wanda powered up.

"It was Pietro!" Cried Lance, pointing at the speedster. "I swear it was all him!"

"What was all me?" asked Pietro, turning. Wanda hexed him into a wall. "Owie..."

"Calm down, Wanda," Roadblock said soothingly. "Cover Girl, can you help me here?"

"Come on, Sweetie," Cover Girl said as she led Wanda away from the others.

"Hurry up, Pietro!" called Fred. "I'm starting to get hungry again!"

"When are you ever not hungry, Blob?" grumbled Jean. "Show some respect for the dead."

"Why?" asked Pietro. "We never showed any respect to him when he was alive."

Jean glared at him, and he put up his hands defensively. "I'm just saying..."

Scott joined Jean, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Ignore these morons, Jean," he told her. "Come on. Let's take our seats."

"Just don't take them too far!" cracked Pietro.

"This had better be your way of dealing with grief," glowered Jean.

The two walked away, and Pietro made a show of wiping imaginary sweat off his forehead.

"Whew," he said. "Scary. What was I doing again? Oh, yeah!" He zipped away.

Meanwhile, the mourners had all made their way to the seats lined up in front of the casket. The X-Men sat on one side, and the Joes and Misfits sat on the other. The Cobras were keeping their distance, because none of them wanted to be near Althea, who was sitting in the front row of the Misfit side, sobbing softly.

"Is everybody here?" called Logan, trying to wipe drool off a drunken Xavier's chin.

"Everybody except Pietro," Hawk told him.

"Whose bright idea was it to have him do the ceremony?" grumbled Scott.

"It's tradition," Lance told him. "Toad would have wanted it this way."

"Actually," said Fred, "I think he wouldn't want it at all."

"Well, obviously," Lance rolled his eyes. "But under the circumstances...

"I do not understand," said Xi.

"He means Todd would not wish to be dead in the first place," explained XI.

"Ah," nodded Xi. "That makes sense."

With a gust of wind, Pietro appeared behind the casket, wearing his black priest's robes.

"Here we go," moaned Scott.

"Dearly Beloved," started Pietro. "We are gathered here today-"

"That's for weddings, you moron!" called Lance.

"Ahem," glared Pietro. "We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of our brother, Toad. Toad was a boy of poor learning, manners, and hygiene, but we still tolerated him because his mind was dull as a spoon."

"I'm thinking of some interesting uses for a spoon right now," Althea told him menacingly. Pietro gulped.

"But nonetheless, he was a caring lad, a good lad, a lad who gave his all, a lad who loved all, a lad who owed large sums of cash to all. Which reminds me, we'll be handing out his life's savings to everyone he owed money to after the ceremony."

"I thought you were the one that owed him money?" asked Fred.

"He cheated at that game of Monopoly and you know it," glared Pietro.

"I can't believe this," groaned Rogue. "He's right in there, and they're all sitting around making jokes."

"Leave it to the Misfits to screw up a funeral for one of their teammates," Scott commented.

"Actually, I think Toad would love this funeral," Tabitha grinned. "Except for, you know, the whole being dead part."

"And now," continued Pietro, "let us gave down upon his countenance for the last time, before we recommit him to the earth."

"And commit Pietro to an asylum," snickered Kurt.

Pietro opened the head of the casket, and looked confused. He opened the body of the casket, and the look deepened. He looked up at the crowd. "Isn't there supposed to be a body in here?" he asked.

"If this is a joke, it's in poor taste, even for a Misfit," growled Jean.

"No, I'm serious," Pietro told her. "There's no one here. See?"

He tipped the casket toward the group. Everyone instinctively leaned back, waiting for Todd's body to roll out.

But the casket was empty.

* * *

"Well, that's a twist," said Zartan, watching via a few bugs he'd directed toward the ceremony. "I wonder where the little creep is. No matter."

He turned to Zanya. "I'm thinking now would be the perfect time to start the last phase of my hostile takeover of the country. How about you?"

Zanya grinned evilly. "Couldn't be better."

* * *

"Where's Todd?" screamed Althea. "What have you done with him?"

"It wasn't me, I swear!" yelled Pietro, crouching instinctively.

Lance stood up. "Then who did it?" he asked.

"How do we know it wasn't you, Alvers?" called Scott.

"That's sick, even for you, Summers," growled Lance.

"But not too sick for you, I bet," Scott growled, standing up.

"Cut it out!" called Hawk. "We need to figure this out. Lifeline. You're sure he was in the casket?"

"I put him there myself," the medic replied.

"Was it left alone at any point?" asked Hank.

"I don't think so," frowned Roadblock. "Unless..."

"It couldn't," said Low Light. "_He_ couldn't."

"What?" asked Althea.

"You mean...?" asked Hawk.

"Who?" Althea yelled.

"Tetsukaeru," Cover Girl said in a flat voice.

"Who's Tetsukaeru?" asked Logan.

"That would be me," came the reply from behind them.

* * *

Next time: Tetsukaeru! And Zartan reveals his final plot! What thrills are coming next? To find out, tune in again, for chapter fourteen of _Misfits in Time_!


	14. I'm Getting Better!

Chapter 14: "I'm Getting Better"

* * *

They all turned around. Behind them stood the dark dragon-like being known as Tetsukaeru. His wings were spread out behind him in full glory.

"Who are you?" snapped Althea. "What have you done with Todd?"

Tetsukaeru looked at her. "Sleep," he said. She folded up gently, and lay on the ground, unconscious.

"What did you do to her?" yelled Scott, his hand going automatically to his visor.

"Calm down, young one," Tetsukaeru told him. "She merely rests."

"Who are you?" asked Logan.

"I am Tetsukaeru," the dragon-man replied.

"We know that!" snapped Hank. "What does it mean?"

"Maybe I should explain," sighed Roadblock. "When he first got here, Todd found a stone. It changed him through to the bone. Whenever he's really needed, Tetsukaeru appears." He turned to Tetsukaeru. "Well? We're all ears."

"I inhabit Todd Tolensky's body," continued Tetsukaeru. "Young Althea Delgado may not know, for she too has a piece of the stone within her. Neither may be allowed to discover this until they are of age to properly merge with the stones. At that time, my full powers will manifest in Todd Tolensky. However, should he discover before the proper time, a great and terrible destructive force may be unleashed upon the Earth, with none who could stop it."

"So how did you get here?" asked Lance. "I mean, Toad's dead. Isn't he?"

"I put Todd Tolensky in suspended rest while I healed his body from the inside," explained Tetsukaeru. "He may have appeared dead during the process, but he has now recovered sufficiently that your medical man may finish the reconstructive process. Remember, none of you must tell Todd Tolensky that I exist."

"We remember," nodded Fred.

There was a glowing light from the direction of Tetsukaeru, causing everyone to turn their heads. When they looked again, Todd lay on the ground, breathing shallowly, but definitely alive.

Althea stirred, and groaned. "What happened?" she asked, dazed.

"Todd's alive," Fred informed her.

"What?" she asked. Then she saw Todd. "TODD!"

She dragged herself over to him, and pulled him up into a hug until Lifeline gently extracted him from her arms.

She looked around at the gathered people. "How?" she asked.

"Um... medical miracle?" suggested Rogue.

"Yeah," agreed the others.

Althea was suspicious. "There's something you're not telling me," she said, eyes narrowing.

"Uh... Toad might need you," Lance spoke quickly.

Immediately, Althea forgot her suspicions, and jumped to her feet. She ran off in the direction of the med bay.

Roadblock turned to the X-Men. "You can't tell anyone, especially Todd, about what happened here today," he said. "If you do, well... You remember Pompeii?"

The X-Men nodded.

"It'll seem like a day at the beach compared to what would happen."

They looked suitably taken aback.

"How long have you all known this?" asked Logan.

"About a year, year and a half," Low Light said.

"And you never felt the need to tell us?" Hank said incredulously.

"Nope," said Cover Girl. "Some things are best left secret."

* * *

"And so," finished Zartan, "you will vote for the Bill. If you do not, your constituency will hear every detail of... Fifi, the Performing Poodle! Have a nice day!"

He switched off the link, and allowed himself a maniacal laugh. Soon, very soon, he would be ruler of his country, and then... Who knew? They did say the world was getting smaller every day.

"Once the Bill passes, there'll be rioting in the streets," he told Zanya, who was reading a magazine and looking bored. "Mutant and human will rise up in arms together, and civil war will erupt! And once they are locked in struggle, I will be able to rise to the top! Soon I, and I alone, shall rule!"

"Yeah, yeah," said Zanya. She flipped a page in her magazine.

* * *

"Hey."

Althea opened her eyes at the voice, one she'd thought silenced forever. Todd lay awake, watching her. He grinned, and the tears burst through once more.

"Shhh..." Todd told her as he held her, gently stroking her long black hair. "It's okay. It's okay."

"I thought you were dead," sobbed Althea, clinging to him.

"So did I," laughed Todd. "But I'm getting better!"

She smiled through the tears.

"Scare me like that again, and I'll finish you off myself," she told him.

He grinned. "Promise?" he teased.

She crawled up against him, and they lay there, holding each other tightly.

* * *

_Bayville, that night..._

There was a flash of light in the dark, and four figures appeared. They tumbled to the ground and sprang up again.

One spoke.

"Ah. It's good to be back. Let's go."

* * *

Next time: Some fun, lighthearted romance. It'll be so sweet, your teeth will begin to rot. Tune in again, for chapter fifteen of _Misfits in Time_!


	15. Romantic Interlude

_RogueFanKC: Actually, Cobra was nowhere near. They were avoiding the heroes, remember? And Zartan was too busy plotting to pay attention. Tactless is fun. Thank you for putting me on your "Favorites"._

Chapter 15: Romantic Interlude

* * *

Todd and Althea lay in his hospital bed, arms wrapped around one another, breathing slowly and deeply in blissful slumber. Lifeline entered, but stopped when he saw the two teens. He smiled, and backed slowly and quietly out of the room, closing the door gently behind him.

Bree walked over to him. "What's going on?" she asked. He grinned. "They're... taking a short break," he told her.

"What?" asked Bree. She peeked in through a window set next to the door, and smiled. "Oh."

Lifeline wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He nuzzled his chin gently against her neck. She turned, and smiled at him.

* * *

"Mr. McCoy?"

Hank turned around, and found Wanda standing in the doorway behind him. He set down the book he'd been reading, and stood. "What can I do for you, Wanda?" he asked.

She shifted nervously, not meeting his eyes. "Um... are you busy right now?"

"No," he answered, confused.

"Because I could come back later, if you want," she told him.

"What's going on?" he asked her.

"Um..." she fidgeted.

Hank felt very confused. The Scarlet Witch was acting very unusual. "Are you feeling all right?" he asked. "I can call Lifeline if you need."

"No!" she blurted out, then... blushed?

"Wanda... what's going on?" he asked again.

She looked up, into his eyes, for the first time since she'd entered. Her eyes were filled with... something.

Hank never saw it coming. Wanda crossed the few short steps to where he was standing, leaned in and up, and kissed him. Then, she turned and fled, leaving a very confused Hank standing there.

"What was that all about?" he wondered.

* * *

Jinx and Logan were going at it. The less said about that, the better.

* * *

Lance, Kitty, and Piotr were taking a walk. Kitty was between the two boys, in an effort to keep them from fighting. But the two were strangely silent.

Finally, Kitty couldn't stand it any more. "What's going on?" she asked them, stopping.

They glanced at each other, then looked at her.

"What do you mean?" asked Lance.

"Nothing is going on," said Piotr.

"Something's wrong," she told them. "Ever since Logan brought you back, you've both been acting really strange."

"Um..." Lance started.

"Heh... Strange?" Piotr chuckled nervously.

"What's going on? Tell me!" demanded Kitty.

"While we were trapped," Lance said in a rush, "we tried a coin flip for who would get to see you most for two months. We flipped it eighty-eight times, and every time, it ended up on its side."

"Which is not natural," continued Piotr. "We are not sure what is going on, but clearly, there is something."

Kitty looked stunned, then angry. "You flipped a coin over me?" she shouted. "I... You... Aargh!" She stormed away, leaving the two boys.

"Oh, boy," groaned Piotr.

"We really did it this time," moaned Lance.

"Want to go get some of BA's coffee?" asked Piotr.

"It's like you read my mind," Lance told him.

* * *

A fuming Kitty strode into a building. Wanda was there, curled up in a chair. Her face was bright red.

"What's going on?" asked Kitty.

"Iksmcy," muttered Wanda.

"What?" asked Kitty.

"Ikssdmrmcy," Wanda said a little more clearly.

"What?" Kitty asked a third time.

"I kissed Mr. McCoy," Wanda said, her cheeks flaming.

Kitty forgot about Lance and Piotr, and stood in disbelief. "Like, oh my gosh!" she squealed. "That's... I mean... Mr. McCoy?"

"Yes," groaned Wanda.

Kitty sat down in front of her and crossed her legs. "So, what happened?" she prodded.

Wanda looked at the floor. "I didn't mean to," she said. "I mean, I was just walking through a hall, and I saw him reading, and then I was kissing him, and then I ran away and came here. This is so embarrassing..."

"I think it's totally cool!" exclaimed Kitty.

Wanda looked at her. "Are you on drugs?"

Kitty was bouncing excitedly. "I mean, Mr. McCoy's been really mopey, and even though it's, like, totally gross, this could be really good!"

"Because if you are, I want some," Wanda continued.

* * *

Hank walked around for a while, until he ended up at the cafeteria. Lance and Piotr were there, sipping out of some mugs. She both looked perfectly calm.

"I think I'm building up a tolerance," Lance told Piotr.

"Da," agreed the big Russian.

"Me too," said the flying pink pig hovering in between them.

Hank wandered over to where they were sitting.

"Avalanche, I have a question," he told Lance.

"What?" asked Lance.

"Do you know why Wanda just kissed me?" asked Hank.

Lance and Piotr did the Mother of all Spit Takes. "What?" gasped Lance.

"Ugh," Piotr wrinkled his nose.

"She said something about liking you earlier, at the funeral," Lance said, thinking, "but I didn't know she was being serious."

"Apparently, she was," Hank sighed. "It's not like she's a bad girl at heart... or unattractive... or-"

"That's enough!" yelled Lance. "Really don't want to hear it!"

"I agree completely," Piotr made a face. "Why do you not ask Pietro."

"He's too busy streaking with Xi," Hank told them.

"Now there's a haunting image," groaned Lance.

"I don't think I'll ever recover," said the flying pig, fading out.

"Is there a psychiatrist in the house?" moaned Piotr.

"Last I saw, Beach Head was trying to kill him," Lance grinned.

* * *

"Help!" screamed Psyche-Out.

"Get back here and die!" yelled Beach Head, chasing after him.

* * *

Flint and Lady Jaye were in Flint's office.

"I'm glad we're married," said Flint.

"Me too," Lady Jaye told him.

"Anything's better than what those idiots are going through," continued Flint.

"You said it," agreed Lady Jaye.

* * *

Todd was the first to stir. He looked down at the sleeping form of Althea, wrapped in his arms, her own arms around his waist. He smiled, and gently stroked her hair with one arm. "I love you," he whispered.

"Lovutoo," she muttered in her sleep. They lay there, at peace.

* * *

Next time: Four new people come into the story. What are they doing here? And what secrets will they reveal? Tune in next time, for chapter sixteen of _Misfits In Time_!


	16. Enemy Within

Chapter 16: Enemy Within

* * *

"Come on," said one. "We need to get there before it's too late."

"How do we know he's here?" asked another.

"We have to hope we're lucky," said a third.

The fourth remained silent, reserving comment till it was necessary.

* * *

"Can't catch me!" laughed Todd, hopping up to the ceiling of the cafeteria and running along it upside down. Below him, Xi and Althea were laughing and chasing him. Xi leapt, and used his claws to dig into the ceiling, pushing himself along at an unbelievable rate.

Hank and Roadblock were watching from a table at the other end of the room.

"I can't believe Toad is so powerful," Hank shook his head, amazed. "He's always been so... well..."

"Crazy?" suggested Roadblock with a smile. "Speaking of crazy, what's this I hear about a kiss?"

Hank's face turned slightly purple, the red of a blush running under his blue fur.

"Nothing," he muttered.

"Look at me," Roadblock told him. "I love Wanda like a daughter, but she's old enough to know her own mind. I know it looks like you're in a bind. But there's no ethical problem involved, and I'd like to see this situation resolved."

Todd shrieked with laughter. An invisible Xi had tackled him down from the ceiling, and the three kids were rolling and laughing across the floor.

* * *

"Are we almost there?" asked the second.

"It should be getting close," said the first.

"I remember it being closer than this," said the third. "What about you, Komodo?"

The fourth shook his head, remaining silent.

"Fine," said the first. "Komodo, you and Blaster scout ahead. I'll bring up the rear with Slice."

"I wish you'd stop calling me that, Piranha," muttered Slice. "I liked my old name better."

"We all had to change after the war," said Piranha. "Believe me, I didn't like it any better than you."

"C'mon, Ko'!" exclaimed Blaster. "Let's get going!"

The two bounded ahead, leaving the other pair behind.

* * *

The group was assembled once more. For the sake of clarification, they were:

For the Misfits: Althea, Todd, Lance, Fred, Pietro, Wanda, Xi, and Arcade.

Their handlers: Roadblock, Low Light, Cover Girl, and Shipwreck.

The time travelers: Block, Quake, and XI.

The other Joes: Hawk, Flint, Duke, Lady Jaye, Scarlet, Jinx, Lifeline, Bazooka, and Bree.

The X-Men: Xavier (who was now sober), Logan, Hank, Scott, Jean, Kurt, Piotr, Kitty, Rogue, and Remy.

The Cobras: Cobra Commander, Destro, the Baroness, Xamot, and Tomax.

"What's up?" asked Todd.

"There's still the small matter of stopping the civil war to attend to," said Hawk, looking at them all. "I realize a lot of us don't like each other, but we have to work together on this."

"Yeah," Destro muttered. "So what's that mean?"

"It means," glared Hawk, "that we need to pool our combined resources to keep Congress from voting. The President refuses to help without evidence that someone is pulling the strings, so I've decided to go over his head."

"Who could be over the President's head?" asked Hank.

Surprisingly, it was Logan who answered. "The Jugglers."

"Precisely," nodded Hawk. "I've been in contact, and the situation is under consideration."

"Consider this," came a voice from behind the group. As they turned, there was a collective gasp.

"I hope we're not too late to join the party," grinned Piranha.

* * *

This story is brought to you through the efforts of the good folk at Penguin-Eskimo Productions. We at Penguin-Eskimo Productions believe in the very best services we can bring you in your fan fiction. So remember, next time you want a quality story, why not consider Penguin-Eskimo Productions? Our motto: "We put you on ice, cheap!"

* * *

"Althea?" gasped Todd, looking between his girlfriend and the interloper.

"I haven't been called that in years," grinned Piranha. "Not since you lost the ability to speak."

As she spoke, the other three dropped down beside her. They were dressed identically in sleek black special ops armored outfits.

"Allow me to reintroduce Slice, Blaster, and Komodo," Piranha told the group airily.

"It's Wolverine, Boom Boom, and Toad!" gasped Scott.

"Quick, ain't he?" grinned Slice.

Komodo leapt into the air. Leathery wings spread out behind him, and he flew swiftly to where Todd was standing, mouth open in amazement.

"What's going on?" demanded Hawk.

"We've come to stop the traitor from preventing you from stopping the war," growled Slice. "Give it to us."

"It?" asked Hank. Realization dawned, even as XI grabbed Lance and held a claw under his chin.

"You'll never take me alive!" he snarled.

"Fine with us," shrugged Piranha. "Get him, Komodo!"

Even as XI started to whirl toward Komodo, the silent warrior reared up and grew. Flames rushed out of his mouth, as his body distended beyond recognition. The transformation took only a moment, and when it was done, Komodo resembled nothing less than a huge, black, deadly dragon. He roared, and spat huge globs of black spit at XI. It was all the engineered mutant could do to avoid the spit, and in dodging it, he released Lance, who immediately rolled out of the way. When the spit landed, it burst into flame, eating away at the ground and part of a nearby building.

"Cool," blinked Todd.

XI snarled, and tried to leap at Komodo, but the huge dragon swatted him to the ground and held him there, where he lay, twitching, struggling to free himself.

"What's going on?" demanded Block. "We thought you were dead! That's what intelligence said!"

"The reports of our death were wishful thinking," grinned Blaster.

"The reptile here sold us out," growled Slice. "We were caught in an ambush. The only reason the three of us made it was because Komodo here decided he'd had enough and blew up."

"He can do that?" asked Fred, wide-eyed.

"Looks like it," grinned Piranha.

"But he was our friend!" protested Quake.

"So was the Professor," growled Slice.

"What about the Professor?" asked Xavier.

"We should tell him, to keep it from happening," said Blaster.

"Fine," sighed Piranha. She turned to Xavier. "In about an hour, Magneto is going to come and tell you that the President has had everyone at your mansion executed. In our reality, you snap, and force old One-Eye, Red, and Blue Boy to assassinate him. They all die, which is the final straw that makes you join Magneto and wage war on humanity. In about ten years, you're both captured and executed."

"What?" exclaimed Xavier, aghast. "I could never do that!"

"Apparently you don't know yourself as well as you think," Block told him.

Xavier whirled on him in a rage. "Why didn't you tell me before?" he demanded.

Block shrugged. "We were hoping it wouldn't go this far."

"Well, obviously it did!" snapped Xavier.

"But everyone at the mansion is alive and well," concluded Piranha. "Trust us. We were on the mission together. Magneto is lying."

* * *

"Soon, all will come to pass exactly as I have planned," said Zartan. "And I shall rule the country, and then the world!" He laughed menacingly.

* * *

And in the sky, rapidly approaching the Pit, flew a single silvery orb, drawing nearer with each passing moment.

* * *

Next time: The arrival of... Magneto! And the fate of XI. With only four chapters left, how will this story end? Tune in next time, for chapter seventeen of _Misfits In Time_!


	17. Magneto!

__

RogueFanKC: I hope this clears it all up. And "Komodo" is a lot cooler than "Toad", I think.

Red Witch: Thanks! Here's more!

Chapter 17: "Magneto!"

* * *

A silvery orb flew through the air, at speeds hard to imagine. It approached the Pit, each second an enormous amount of ground. Inside, Magneto sat, deep in thought, putting the finishing touches on his plan. He would tell Xavier that his students were all dead. He would give details to make the story real, convince Xavier that humans had murdered his precious students. He would convert Xavier to his cause now, or destroy his former friend once and for all.

Truth to tell, he didn't really care which.

* * *

"But Professor Xavier would never do that!" exclaimed Scott loyally.

"Future you would beg to differ, kid," snorted Slice.

"Be that as it may," interrupted Piranha, "the point is that we're here to make sure he _doesn't_ go all Onslaught on us."

"What?" asked Hank.

"'Onslaught' was the name he took after he went insane," Blaster explained. "Hey, where am I, anyway?"

"Back at the Mansion," Hank told her. "I still have a hard time believing it."

"You won't once you've become a big blue furry rug on the President's floor," snorted Slice. "And you got off easy. You were only skinned alive."

"Ew," Pietro and Kitty made faces of disgust.

"So what should we do?" Althea asked Piranha.

"We time travelers will hide," Piranha told her. "When Magneto come along, act surprised, and pretend to go along with him. When we're ready, we'll take him out, and hopefully prevent the whole mess."

"I've been wondering," Todd said thoughtfully. "What happens to you guys if we succeed?"

The others paused. "I'm not sure," Piranha said. "Trinity was captured before they could tell us anything. We barely made it through to the machine."

"Well, we have a crisis and a solution," General Hawk clapped his hands. "You Cobras and most of the Joes will hide with the Travelers. The rest of us will have to act as normal as we can. It's showtime!"

* * *

"Here I am," Magneto said to himself. "It's showtime."

* * *

Zartan gave his last order, then turned to Zanya, rubbing his hands gleefully. "It's showtime!"

* * *

The silvery orb crashed through the sky and landed in the middle of the Pit. It slowly opened, and Magneto slowly and majestically lifted himself into the air, his cape waving around him dramatically, his helmet gleaming in the afternoon sun.

"I know you're here, Charles!" he called. "I have some bad news."

Xavier wheeled himself into sight, Logan and Scott on either side of him, protective.

Magneto laughed. "A plastic wheelchair, Xavier?" He sobered instantly. "I have some bad news for you."

"What is it?" Xavier asked.

"We were going to your little school, to ask for your help," Magneto told him. "But when we got there, it had been destroyed. Your students were flung about the ruins, twisted up from explosions. If only we had gotten there sooner..." He lowered his head, allowing a single droplet of water to run down one side of his face. "Humans attacked the mansion while you were gone. They've killed everyone! Now do you believe me, Charles? Now do you see what I've been trying to tell you for so long? Humans are our enemies! It doesn't matter who they are, what they may profess! In the end, they will destroy us! Do you believe me now?"

"No," Xavier said quietly. "I don't."

Magneto was suddenly cold and quiet. "Then you will have to die," he said simply.

"Now!" cried Piranha. With a hooting battle cry, the hidden groups poured out, surrounding Magneto. The flyers took to the air, to prevent his escape that way.

Magneto laughed. "A trap? How very droll, Charles. Who are these delightful people?"

He looked closely at Piranha, and the smirk slid off his face. "You," he said in cold astonishment.

Piranha grinned at him. "Me," she agreed cheekily.

"I'll kill you all!" Magneto suddenly raged, and they gasped, as suddenly they were filled with pain. Magneto smiled triumphantly. "The metals in your body will slowly kill you," he said maliciously, "with a great amount of pain, I'm afraid. I'm sorry, but I can't have you running around stopping my plans. Why are you smiling?"

He had noticed Piranha, who, while wincing, was still smiling.

"You know how metals comprise about point oh-two percent of the body?" she asked sweetly.

"Yes," Magneto frowned.

"Guess what makes up ninety-six percent of the body?"

And Magneto fely cold fear, even as his control slipped and his body weakened. A faint haze seemed to float over his eyes. It surrounded his body, and he knew it was the water being sucked right out of him.

"No," he gasped.

"Yes," Piranha told him.

With a final weak cry, Magneto collapsed on the ground, unconscious. The light haze faded, leaving his emaciated figure lying in the sun.

"Magneto!" cried Xavier."

"He's suffering from severe dehydration," Piranha told Lifeline. "I suggest you get him to the med bay, fast."

Lifeline and Bree quickly picked up the shriveled Magneto and carried him to the nearby medical building.

* * *

"It seems Magneto has failed in his ridiculous little ploy," Zartan said, watching the scene play out before him. "No matter. I will still succeed."

He turned to a communicator, and said, "Mr. Speaker, the deadline is reached. Call for an immediate vote on the Bill."

"Yes, sir," came the quiet reply.

* * *

"All we have to do now is decide the fate of the traitor," said Piranha. "Bring it out."

Block and Komodo brought out XI, twisting and snarling as he tried to escape.

"You are guilty of treason," Piranha told him coldly. "Before I give you your sentence, do you have any last words you wish to say?"

"F! YOU!" roared XI, trying to leap at her.

"Very well," sighed Piranha. "I sentence you to Xi."

XI went very still. He looked at his younger self. Xi looked back at him, his eyes empty of any response. XI's eyes widened in fear. "You can't!" he hissed.

"You have betrayed me, and my friends," Xi told him. "I will accept the responsibility."

"Take them to an empty area," ordered Piranha sadly.

Block and an expressionless Komodo carried a hissing and screaming XI away, followed silently by Xi, who slipped into invisibility.

"I'm sorry," Piranha said to Todd and Althea.

"We understand," Todd told her. "And so does Xi."

* * *

"This emergency session of the full Congress will now vote on the passage of the Mutant Registration Bill. You have heard all the arguments, now you must decide. You have ten minutes to vote."

* * *

Next time: The final crisis, and the Congress votes on the Bill! Can our heroes stop it? What will happen to the time travelers? Tune in next time, for chapter eighteen of _Misfits In Time_!


	18. Stopping a War

__

Yes, she is. And maybe not as long as you think. Thanks! I hope you enjoy this next timely installment!

Oops. Hope I didn't spoil anything. And Xi's not a traitor. Now he knows what to avoid. Thanks!

Chapter 18: Stopping a War

* * *

No one said anything when Xi, Block, and Komodo came back. They were too busy being in an uproar.

"What do you mean they're voting?" yelled Hawk into a communicator. "I don't care! You have to stop them! Now! That is an order!"

"We're all gonna die," whimpered Pietro. "My perfectly wonderful self is going to die."

"Shut up, Pietro!" snapped Wanda.

"Does this mean it's time to eat?" asked Fred.

"Might as well," shrugged Althea. "Let's go get some food. And coffee."

"Coffee is good," agreed Todd, as the teens went into the cafeteria.

Meanwhile, the Baroness was hitting on Piotr again, to the anger of Destro and Kitty. "Do you know what would look good on me?" she purred. "You."

Piotr blushed. Kitty fumed.

"A black eye would look even better," she grumbled. "A fat lip, a bloody nose, a few teeth knocked out. And then I'll get to work on her!"

Xavier was drinking from two bottles at once. Logan was either trying to get him to stop or get him to share. It was hard to tell.

The other X-Men decided to join the Misfits. A few minutes later, several explosions and shouts of excitement could be heard.

Hawk sighed. "Might as well let them have their fun," he murmured. "Nothing can stop the Bill now."

"Au contraire," came a voice from behind him. He turned, to find Piranha grinning at him.

"There's still a chance," she told him.

"What?" he asked. It was better to grasp at any straw he could find than give in to the inevitability of the crisis.

"Go there again," she told him. "Bring us with you. I'm sure we can convince them of what's going to happen."

"How?" Hawk asked suspiciously.

"Well," she said, "ever since Komodo lost the ability to speak, we've discovered he has a unique ability to place people in whatever scenes are running through his head. Get us to Washington, and we'll show Congress first-hand what the Bill will create."

"And if this makes them even more afraid of mutants?" asked Duke, walking up.

"Then at least we tried," shrugged Piranha. "Would you rather live knowing you might have been able to prevent this from ever happening to us?"

"You're right," sighed Hawk. He turned to Duke. "Gather everyone up. We're going to try this one more time."

* * *

"Soon, the voting will be over," Zartan said gleefully. "When it is, the Bill will have passed, and I will be able to come to power. Zanya! Zanya?"

He looked around, but Zanya was gone. He spied a note, and picked it up.

"I've decided to go to the good guys. I bet they'll pay a lot for the information to wrap this little scheme of yours up. Remember, we're mutants, too. Hasta la vista, you nut. Your loving daughter, Zanya."

He crumpled up the note in rage. "Ooh!" he seethed. "When I find her, she'll get such a yelling at!"

* * *

The group materialized in Washington, D.C. once more. They were instantly on the alert, but the streets appeared to be deserted. Hawk nodded at Piranha and Komodo. "Do it," he ordered.

Kurt grabbed the two, and they teleported inside the Capitol, while the rest stood guard outside.

* * *

Time was almost up when the three materialized in the middle of the chamber. Several people gave out cries of surprise and fear, and Piranha held up her hands.

"If you pass this Bill," she said, loudly and clearly, "we want to show you what will happen!"

"Don't listen to her!" yelled Senator Kelly, standing, his face turning purple. It's a mutie trick!"

"Trick this!" growled Piranha, and the room seemed to dissolve away, replaced with a scene of total devastation.

"What-?" started one Senator.

"Twenty years from now," Piranha told the group, "this will be the face of Washington. If you pass the Mutant Registration Bill, a violent rebellion will start all over the country. Mutants and humans will fight each other, and destroy everything. Everything, do you understand? You, your homes, your families. And they will be destroyed in turn. And when it's all over, fifteen years later, the population of the entire country will be twenty thousand humans and fifty mutants. And other countries will join in, and others, and the whole world will be at war. Only a handful will survive the close combat. And then the mutants will launch their nukes, and the humans will launch theirs, and almost everyone left will be destroyed."

As she spoke, the group passed through each image. They saw children dying in beams of red light. They saw their families murdered in their beds. They saw mutants popping like popcorn. Buildings tumbled, cities fell. Bright glows lit the skies, as huge rings of smoke marked the outward expansion of concussive blasts powerful enough to rip anything in their paths to shreds. At her last words, the scenes faded, and they found themselves back in the chamber.

Several of the gathered men and women were white-faced. Most of the group were in shock. Finally, one Representative gathered the strength to speak.

"How do we know this is true?" she asked.

"You don't" Piranha quietly answered. "But we had to live it."

Silence reigned.

"Voting has concluded," the Chairman said suddenly.

"No, it hasn't," someone said. "We still have ten minutes."

The Chairman tried to protest, but he was shouted down, and the entire Congress started madly working on their voting computers. For ten minutes, all that could be heard was the tapping of fingers across keyboards, and then the Chairman cleared his throat.

"Voting has concluded," he said nervously, his voice small. He knew that Zartan would not be pleased, and that he could kiss his political career goodbye.

The votes appeared on the display. Under "For" were three votes. There were none under abstentions.

"The Mutant Registration Bill fails," said the Chairman, and he sat suddenly as his knees gave way.

Piranha smiled at the gathered men and women. "Thank you," she said, and the three mutants teleported away.

hr

Outside, the others were still keeping watch.

"How much longer do you think they'll be?" Jean asked Scott.

"No way of knowing," he replied.

Then they smelled brimstone, and heard the air displace itself, and knew that the others had returned.

"Well?" asked Todd. "How did it go?"

Piranha looked at them all solemnly, then grinned. "We defeated it!" she cheered.

The cheers of the assembled group could be heard through the entire city.

* * *

"Guess this means we're going," Cobra Commander told Hawk.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out," Hawk answered curtly.

"Cobra! Retreat!" yelled Cobra Commander, and the Cobra troops left.

The Baroness quickly scrawled a series of numbers on a piece of paper and pressed it into Piotr's hand. "Call me," she winked, and withdrew with the others.

Flint sighed with relief. "Glad they're gone," he commented.

"You have no idea," growled Low Light.

"Well," Hawk told them, "time to get back. And someone try to get Xavier away from that liquor store!"

* * *

Next time: We're not done yet! Zartan reveals one final surprise, with deadly results! Who will the victims be? At this point, anyone! Tune in next time, for chapter nineteen of _Misfits In Time_!


	19. I'll Never Forget You

_Oops. Those last two responses were to RogueFanKC and Red Witch, respectively._

_RogueFanKC: Thanks. I personally thought that scene was too short, but I've never been good at lengthy sequences. As for the Baroness, let's just say she's going to have a nasty wake-up call in the third part of this trilogy. Zanya won't be that much help, because... well, you'll see._

_Red Witch: I love that you love it._

_c-wolf: I'll consider that a great compliment._

**Our story so far...**

**The heroes have worked together to defeat the Mutant Registration Bill. The traitors have all been revealed, and dealt with. Cobra has left for parts unknown. However, Zartan is still on the loose, with revenge on his mind...**

Chapter 19: "I'll Never Forget You"

* * *

_The Pit..._

"Well, I'm glad that's all sorted out," commented Lance.

"You have no idea," Quake told him.

"So... what happens now?" Lance asked his older self.

Quake shrugged. "To be honest, I have no idea. Hawk's told us that we're all welcome to stay, but I don't know. We've always been kind of a free spirit, when we weren't worrying about Kitty."

Lance grinned. "Yeah, I see your point. I have to ask. Have we ever...?"

Quake shrugged again. "I'm not telling you," he smirked. "That would take all the fun out of it."

Lance laughed. "Yeah," he said, "I guess it would."

"Wanna get together a pick-up game?" asked Quake.

Lance looked confused. "With who?"

"Our fine earthy friends," replied Quake, as the ground around them surged upward to form several familiar pro basketball players.

"You're on," laughed Lance.

* * *

Todd, Althea, Xi, Komodo, and Piranha were talking quietly in the cafeteria.

"Is there any way to keep myself from losing the ability to speak?" Todd asked Piranha and Komodo. The larger winged version of himself nodded, and projected his response into Todd's mind. The teen winced. "Where am I going to get that much mustard sauce?" he asked.

Piranha grinned. "That's your problem," she told him. She turned back to her younger self. "If some guy tries to sell you the Golden Gate Bridge next year," she said, "take it. He's legit, and you'll own a bridge."

"Cool," nodded Althea. "You all right, Xi?"

Xi looked up. "I am fine," he replied. "I just cannot accept that while my older self told me everyone else who was responsible for the problems, he did not tell me of his... my involvement."

Althea wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Forewarned is forearmed," she told him. "Now that you know, you'll never do it."

"But I am ashamed that any part of me would betray my friends in the first place," Xi told her quietly.

Todd put his arm around his other shoulder, across Althea's arm. "It's all right, yo," he said to his friend. "That was a crazy, messed up future. There's no way you'd ever do that to us."

"They're right," Piranha smiled at him. "We're not going to tell you the circumstances, but believe me, there's no way you're ever going to do anything like he did."

Komodo radiated some good feeling to Xi, and the scaled mutant smiled. "Thank you," he said. "It still hurts, but I am comforted. Are there not cookies and coffee over in the kitchen."

"It's like you read my mind," Piranha and Althea grinned together. They looked startled for a moment, and then the four who could began to laugh, while Komodo grinned.

* * *

Wanda and Hank walked along the edge of the compound. They were both quiet, feeling awkward. It was the first time they'd been alone together since Wanda had kissed Hank.

Hank cleared his throat, and seemed about to speak, then stopped. His hands fiddled around, as though he wasn't sure what to do with them. Wanda looked at him, shrugged, and threw her arms around him. Their lips met.

* * *

Block and Roadblock slipped away, not wanting to intrude. They happened upon Wolverine, Slice, and Blaster, who were having fun wrecking an obstacle course.

"Hey, Wolvie, can't catch me!" Blaster yelled cheerfully as she executed a series of back flips that took her over a low wall. Wolverine sliced through the wall. "Okay, maybe you can."

She threw a time bomb at him, but Slice knocked him out of the way before it exploded, demolishing what was left of the wall.

"Oops," gulped Blaster. "That was a little more powerful than I intended."

"Just be more careful," growled Slice. "You probably won't kill us, but it'll sting like crazy trying to grow our skin back."

"You have no idea how much that stings," agreed Wolverine.

"Sorry to interrupt," called Roadblock, "but you might want to be more careful, unless from the General you want to get an earful."

"You're pushing it with those rhymes," Slice grinned.

"It's not our fault," protested Block. "It's getting harder all the time for us to find the perfect rhyme."

"It's a strain on the brain," agreed Roadblock.

Slice groaned, while Wolverine rolled his eyes.

* * *

"And now," Zartan chuckled, "Operation: Revenge! Bless my future dead self for coming up with an emergency plan in case he failed. Soon, these enemies of mine will all pay the ultimate price!"

* * *

Hawk had gathered them all for a debriefing. "We've been through a lot," he told them, "and from our viewpoint, we haven't really accomplished much. Sure, we stopped the Bill, but now it might seem futile, since nothing after it will happen according to how our guests remember. Still, I honestly believe we've all done a good job, and I want to congratulate you."

He paused, cleared his throat, and continued. "However, the danger isn't over yet. We've recently come into some new information, courtesy of Zanya." Althea and Piranha growled at the name. "I know, but she's sincere. It seems that Lord Zartan is dead, and Zartan of our time has taken his place. But before he died, he came up with a contingency plan called Operation: Revenge, for in case he failed. Now that we've succeeded, I'm afraid Zartan is going to use this plan against us. Zanya didn't know the nature of the plan, so we'll have to be prepared for anything."

"And with that bit of irony," came a voice from above, "allow me to introduce to you... Operation: Revenge!"

They looked up, and Zartan came swinging down a long cord. Strapped to his back was a large machine. "Now, I suppose you're all wondering what this is. I'll tell you. Better yet, I'll show you!"

As he landed on the ground, he pulled out a large hose, and pressed a button on the side. A beam of light shout out, and with a cry Block was disintegrated before their eyes.

"Back to your own timeline you go!" laughed Zartan, as he swung the hose and pressed the button again. Piranha disappeared when the beam of light hit her, a pained cry echoing through the room.

Komodo tried to transform, but the next beam of light caught him halfway through the process, and he too disappeared.

"Stop him!" yelled Lance, but Zartan threatened them with the hose.

"Take cover!" yelled Hawk, but for some, it was too late.

Slice and Blaster were caught in beams one after the other, their startled shouts cut off as they disintegrated.

"Yes, run!" laughed Zartan. "That will make my revenge that much more sweet, when I've sent you all into a war-torn future!"

Quake and Lance took shelter behind an overturned table, and watched the others take cover also. Zartan fired the beam randomly, but it didn't seem to affect anything that wasn't alive.

"Come out, you cowards!" he called.

"I'm going to sneak around behind him, and overload the machine," Quake whispered to Lance.

Lance looked at him. "No! You can't!" he cried softly. "What if it sends you back, too?"

Quake put a hand on his shoulder, and looked him in the eye. "I'm willing to take the risk," he told his younger self, "if it means sparing you everything I've gone through. Make the most of yourself kid. Make me proud."

There were tears in Lance's eyes as he said, "I'll never forget you."

"You better not," Quake mock-frowned. "Now distract him so I can make my move. And keep practicing with those earth forms. They're not only fun, but practical."

Lance nodded, smiling through his tears, and he concentrated. And as he concentrated, the entire building began to shake.

Zartan looked around wildly. "What the-?" he shouted.

Quake tackled him from behind, and they wrestled for several long moments. Then Quake managed to pull the hose out of its connection in the metal device on Zartan's back.

"No!" screamed Zartan. "You've killed us both!"

Quake looked at him. "Good," he said simply. He turned, and winked at Lance, and they both disappeared in a blinding flash of light.

* * *

Next time: The conclusion of this story is at hand. What are the reactions of our heroes at the end of all these events? Tune in next time, for chapter twenty of _Misfits In Time_!


	20. Back To Normal, Relatively Speaking

_Red Witch: Here's your more._

**I'd like to take this opportunity to thank several people. Goofn1, you crazy Lance-lover, you inspired much of the Lance content of this story, which was originally supposed to focus on Todd. Oh, well. That's what sequels are for. c-wolf, thanks for your reviews, It's nice to have such a prolific writer compliment me. RogueFanKC, I don't think it's too much to say that you were the wind beneath my wings. Thanks for all your reviews and support. And last but most definitely not least, I'd like to thank Red Witch both for her support and for creating the Misfits in the first place. Without you, we'd never be able to read and write all these cool stories. And now, I give you the last chapter of _Misfits In Time_!**

Chapter 20: Back to Normal, Relatively Speaking

* * *

It was three days later, and still Lance hadn't spoken to anyone. The others were worried. Very, very worried. So, they decided that it was their job to cheer him up.

"Lance?"

Kitty poked her head through his door... literally. He looked at her for a second, then looked down.

She came the rest of the way into his room, and sat on the bed, resting her hand on top of his.

"Will you be okay?" she asked softly.

He shrugged, but remained silent. She decided to try a different approach.

"You know, Piotr took me on a date yesterday."

No response.

She sighed. "Lance, please say something," she pleaded. "We're all really worried about you."

Silence.

"Fine," she sighed. "But when you're ready, let me know, okay. I miss you, and you're not even gone."

She stood, and exited the room, leaving him stretched out on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

* * *

"How is he?" Althea asked as Kitty walked down the stairs of the Misfit house.

"He's not saying anything," the other girl replied. "He didn't even say anything when I told him Piotr took me on a date."

"If that didn't work, then I don't know what will," Todd commented sadly.

"Maybe if I squeeze him?" suggested Blob.

"We'll call that 'Plan B'," Althea told him drily.

Pietro ran in. "Hey! Guess what we found!"

Wanda followed. "It's really cool."

"What is it?" Todd asked.

"Guess!" Pietro cried excitedly.

"A fire extinguisher?" asked Althea.

"Nope!"

"A puppy?" asked Todd.

"Nope!"

"Emeril?"

"Blob, remember our talk about why we don't let you play guessing games with us?"

"Sorry."

"Well?" asked Althea.

"Show them," Pietro exclaimed.

Wanda held out what looked like a rock.

"So?" asked Todd. "It's a rock."

"Look more closely," Wanda told him.

The other four examined it more carefully. "Is that... writing?" Althea asked.

"Yeah!" Pietro almost shouted. "It's a message to Lance. I'm gonna go give it to him!"

He zoomed upstairs. A few seconds later, he zoomed back down. "Now we wait," he told the group.

Several long minutes passed. Then they heard footsteps on the stairs. They all watched as Lance walked down.

"Hey," he greeted them softly.

"Lance! You're back!" exclaimed Todd happily.

"How are you?" asked Althea.

"Better," he replied. "Still not best, but better."

"What'd the rock say?" asked Pietro.

"You didn't read it?" Todd looked at him.

"It was too small," Wanda told him.

"Maybe I'll tell you someday," Lance replied. "But for now, let's just leave it at 'I'm better.'"

"Works for me," grinned Kitty, as she gave him a huge hug.

Something occurred to Althea. "Where are the Triplets?"

* * *

"Double, double, toil and trouble," cackled Daria.

"Fire burn and cauldron bubble," cackled Quinn.

"How come I don't get any cool lines?" asked Brittany.

"Because you're the one who has to hold the porcupine," answered Daria matter of factly.

"And why do I have to do that?" asked Brittany, squirming uncomfortably.

"Because you're the one that let the last porcupine escape," Quinn told her.

"I did not!" glared Brittany.

"You did so!" exclaimed Daria.

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"Enough!" Quinn shouted, exasperated.

Daria and Brittany stuck their tongues out at each other.

"Look," said Quinn. "Let's just give it the juice."

"All right," Daria agreed happily. She took a small vial of pink liquid. "Open wide!"

Brittany held the porcupine's mouth open, and Daria poured the liquid into its mouth.

"How long is this going to take?" asked Brittany, as she set the porcupine carefully in its cage.

"It should be almost instantaneous," Quinn told her.

They watched the porcupine avidly.

Suddenly, pink started to crawl up its spikes, then down along its face. Within a minute, it was entirely pink.

"Success!" crowed Daria.

"What do you wanna do now?" asked Brittany.

"Wanna make dynamite?" suggested Quinn.

"All right!" cheered Daria.

* * *

"Well," Low Light said as he joined the other adults, "sounds like everything's back to normal."

"Relatively speaking," agreed Cover Girl, as a nude Xi ran through the room clutching a box of cookies, Todd and Fred chasing after him. A nude Pietro ran the other way a second later, chased by an irate Wanda and Althea. Arcade ran through after that, being chased by some sort of robot.

"I miss the nice, quiet war," groaned Roadblock as the boom of Wanda hexing Pietro rang through the house.

"Need some headache medicine?" asked Low Light.

"Fifty-proof," agreed Cover Girl.

* * *

Next time: There is no next time. However, there _are_ two more parts to this trilogy, each being twenty chapters long. While they won't be as timely as this story, they will hopefully be longer and better. So, check them out as they come!

And before I forget, I'd like to encourage you all to read some of my other stories as well, most notably in my _Stan Lee's X-MEN_ series.


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